


The Bakery

by CephissoFics



Category: Alex Turner - Fandom, Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets, Miles Kane - Fandom, Milex - Fandom
Genre: Abduction, Aggression, Angst, Bakery, Coffee Shops, Confusion, Danger, First Love, Flashbacks, Hospitals, M/M, Obsession, Older Miles, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Stalking, Tags Are Hard, milex - Freeform, younger Alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-07 00:31:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12222078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CephissoFics/pseuds/CephissoFics
Summary: Alexander D. Turner is the owner of a small local bakery. Business is running well and he has a few regulars.There are two regulars however that catch his attention, both for different reasons.He wouldn't have been able to imagine in his darkest nightmares, that these two customers would change his life forever.





	1. The Bakery

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there :)  
> To warn you right away I am not used to and not good in writing in "first person" but wouldn't live be boring without challenges?!  
> I hope you enjoy my second FF! I wanted to keep it a one shot but realized it would be on cost of the plot and story flow so I came to the conclusion to split it. :)

‘2 more customer.. Only 2 more..’ that’s what I tried to remind myself the whole time while I started to clean up the little bakery I was working at. There was that weird one guy. I don’t know why I find him weird, he is one of our regulars and he comes in every day. No kidding, every_single_day that we are open. There are even days that he comes in twice. ‘He really must love bread.’ That’s what I think every time he steps up to the cash counter. Sometimes he only buys a small bun but at least once a week he kinda stacks up on pastry that it makes me think ‘How can someone possibly eat that much by themselves?’ I know it’s none of my business, I never ask anyways. However I always feel funny around him. He looks and smiles at me in a particular way that makes me feel super uncomfortable. Also sometimes he stays in the “Café’” area of the baking shop and I feel like he is staring at me the whole time. There, again! I am sure he just stared at me again. ‘Calm down Al. You are getting paranoid, why would a guy like that keep staring at you?’ I try to calm myself down by telling myself that. And it’s true, he seems to be a business man of some sort, also how would he know that I’m gay not that it matters.

And then there is that other guy. He just recently started coming here. After working in a service job you start making up background stories for the people you see regularly. Like with the “business guy”. The “New guy” must have just moved here and he seems to be a freelancer or something of that sort, since he comes here always at different times spread over the days, but he doesn’t come in every day. Which I find is a pity. I wouldn’t mind seeing him every day. He always makes me think that kind of things and seriously he is giving me the chills, but in a good way. He is handsome, even he has the most crooked smile I’ve ever seen in my live. His nose is crooked too and he usually walks around in track suits in a variety of colours I didn’t even know existed. But his charisma was greater than this little flaws.

I caught myself almost starring at the “new guy” and so I try to distract myself by checking the time on the little wrist watch my mum gave me last Christmas. “Ehm.. ex.. excuse me sir?” I start while switching glances between the “weird business guy” and the “new guy”. “I’m sorry but we are closing now.” I continue, trying not to look at them, for different reasons. “Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t realizing the time. It always flies by so fast in this lovely bakery.” The weird guy tells me with a greasy smile. I want to gag. But of course I can control myself ‘Just smile back Al, come on rise your lazy mouth’ I tell myself while forcing a smile back at him ‘Awkward..’. The handsome new guy just packed up his laptop he was sitting behind for the past one and a half hours. He almost never speaks. There is usually just a “Hello.”, “Thank you.” And “Bye”. “Bye” he says jinxing my mind after he was done packing and about to leave the store. ‘I knew it!’ I triumph for myself. “B..Bye.” I stutter, almost too late for him to hear. Now I have to face the weird guy. He now is the last customer, once again. It almost seems like he is waiting for me to kick him out, still staying near the table he was sitting at before. He didn’t even do anything the whole time, at least I didn’t see it. I step up closer to him and force another smile while waving him out as a subtile hint. After he finally leaves I lock the glass doors behind him before rolling up my sleeves to mopp the floor and than leave through the backdoor.

It maybe sounds lame but the way home after a day of hard work is one of my favourite times of the day. I can be by myself, listening to music I like through my headphones and feel the fresh breeze coaming my hair. I really should cut it soon, I already have to tuck it behind my ears, to see straight. When I’m in the store I put it in a tiny pony tails, that’s how long it already got. ‘Ah.. next time.’ Honestly, that’s what I always think but I end up being too tired or busy to go anyways. As I am about to leave the dark avenue leading from the back of the bakery to the main street I hear a something behind me. ‘Properly just a cat.’ I think at first but there, I hear obvious footsteps coming closer. The song I was listening too just now is done, before the next can start I am sure that these are footsteps. Walking faster while trying to calm myself that I am almost at the main street. But just as I step out of the shadows on to the brightly lit scene of the big street in front of me I feel a hand on my shoulder. My heart almost stops as I turn around begging that it isn’t a thug. I had faced the lights of the main street the whole time so my eyes need a second to get used to the darkness back in the avenue. I slightly squeeze them together and finally realize that it’s the weird guy from the bakery. Never in my live was I creeped out as much as right now. ’What the hell is he doing here?’ I ask myself, but remind me to stay calm and friendly, he is a regular after all. “Oh, it’s you.” The third forced smile glides over my lips while I wait for him to tell me what’s going on. “I’m sorry to bother you after a hard day of work, but I really wanted to ask you if you would like to go and have a drink with me? It’s my treat of course. I meant to ask you before leaving but didn’t have to guts back in the store.” He explains to me while his greasy smile makes me gag inside. I swallow my heart and slowly nod. ‘Why am I nodding. He sure would understand that I am too tired.’ Thinking that doesn’t really help me out of it now. “Maybe joost one?” I ask him, starring at the ground, I really can’t stay look of his creepy perfect face. “Gotta be oop early t’morrow morning.” I add before walking with him on the brightly lit street. “I’m Joshua by the way.” He finally introduces himself to me.

It doesn’t take us too long to find a little pub to settle down for a drink. “What can I order you, love?” hearing this nickname makes a cold chill running down my back. “Mar.. eh ehm.. Margarita” I answer with a husky voice. “Please.” I add, my voice getting clear again. I can’t bear his presence it worse than in the shop. The bakery is mine, it makes me feel comfortable, and it’s basically my second home. But here, in this shitty pub I feel exposed and unsafe. While I’m praying for a hole magically appearing in the floor to swallow me whole my margarita arrives and I cheers with the “business guy”. ‘Goooo-oood.. why the hell did I say yes.’ I could kick my own ass for not being able to lie or deny people their wishes. He smiles at me again closing up to me at the bar. “I wanted to ask you to drink with me for so long it feels like a dream sitting here with you now.” ‘A Dream? I wish..’ “A dream?” I voice out, the second part I keep to myself. The weirdo shifts in his seat, as if he was waiting for me to ask. “As I said, I wanted to ask you out…” ‘ASK ME OUT?!! TF…’ “…for quite a while already and I am so happy now that I finally found the courage to ask you I feel like I’m dreaming.” He explains while sipping on his beer. “You know.. you are so beautiful! Your hair and eyes. Your fair skin..” he continues un-asked. ‘Creepy…’ I can’t help thinking before fidgeting with the stem of my glass. I want to leave. NOW. But that would be impolite and he seems crazy enough to follow me.

The time elapses like gum, but finally I see my chance to farewell from the customer with an: “Oh, look a the time a realleh should get goin’.” As I stand up I realize that the Margarita’s, he got me to stay and drink a few with him, had left their traces in my ability to balance and speak without looking or sounding like a complete idiot. “Maybe I should bring you home?” he offers. “No.. no fank you. A will joost call for a cap.” Luckily he accepts that and I am finally alone, well with the driver of course, on my final way home. The public transportation had been cut, since it really was quit late already. Normally I would sleep by now. I hope that this would be the only time I had to spend with that creep, while I slip into a snooze, cuddling with the seatbelt until I get woken up by the driver: “15￡”. Maybe it’s just me but he sound a little bit annoyed. I pay the man and fight with my keys to finally go into the hole. My cosy bed greets me with a warm and fluffy hug and I glide into a wonderful dreamland. My awakening isn’t as pleasant thought since I wake up feeling nauseous and have to run to the toilet where I spend the rest of this very short night.

*

I feel horrible in the morning and the mirror confirms that feeling while I brush my teeth. “You are so stupid! Next time say “NO”!” I rent before spitting a mix of toothpaste and saliva into the bathroom’s sink. The day goes as normal, besides me still feeling nauseous and having to leave into the back a few times vomiting. I wonder what’s wrong with me, I’m usually pretty good with alcohol. I don’t understand the big deal my body seems to make out of this time. It’s nearly closing time when I realise that the creeper is not here today. ‘That’s odd. Well, maybe he finally has enough of bread, all day, every day.’ I smirk like an idiot to myself while looking around the place and finally decide to call it a day early today since there were no customer for the past 30 minutes and there are only 40 minutes left until official closing time. I’m my own boss anyways, so I don’t even have to find excuses for it. Since it was a quiet day today I already had cleaned the whole store and only had to lock the front door. Maybe it’s the nausea but I feel colder than usually, even it’s still kind of summer. I feel groggy maybe that’s why I am cold? Today I’m not listening to music on my way through the avenue. I’ve got a little headache and decided that music wouldn’t help it. Suddenly as I was moving forward my stomach twists at the sight of a shadow figure, blocking my way through the small alley leading to the main street. I can’t see who it is but I’ve the feeling that I don’t want to know. As I’m thinking of turning on the heel going back, hiding in the bakery I hear a voice. It’s Joshua, the shadow figure is that tall American creep. ‘Bloody hell’ I think while exhaling. “Josh..ua.” I say still surprised. I hadn’t seen him in the bakery today so maybe he was on his way over there since I would still be open, on any other day, but today I just feel like shit. Even though I’m shivering I feel sweat growling down my spine. What the hell is going on with my body, something is not right ‘Yeah, no shit Sherlock’. “Are you alright?” I hear the deep voice of the shadow in front of me asking. I can’t even see straight anymore, everything seems to blur out around me. “Alex?” I once more hear the American accented voice before I lose all control and my body shuts down for good.

*

As I find back my consciousness I realise that my body feels very stiff, I almost can’t move. Slowly I force my eyes open which rebel to get used to the brightness of the room. ‘Where the fuck am I?’ One thing is for sure, I have no fucking idea where I am. Suddenly I hear footsteps so I pretend to still be asleep. “Look at my beautiful baby.” I hear a thick dewy voice. I can’t and don’t want to believe it. ‘That sick bastard!’ I have to come up with a plan, right now. There is no way I stay here any longer, who knows what he is planning. ‘That could work… dear lord let it work!’ I silently pray in my head before slowly open my eyes. “Oh! Did I wake you, baby?” the disgusting pig askes caring my cheek. I bear to not draw away from his touch, even I could puke right into his face right now. “Where.. am I?” I ask playing artless. “You fainted right in front of me on the street so I took you back to my place to take care of you.” Joshua explains to me, even I figured that much. Slowly as my eyes get used to the brightness of the light I can finally inspect the room around me, potentially finding a way out of this madness. However I am horrified discovering that all 4 walls of the small room are plastered with images of myself. Candid photographs from god know when back. Most of them seem like they were taken in or around the bakery. Some on the way there, some in the library and record store I like to go to in my free time. Hell, there are even some taken in an arcade I visited on a short weekend trip I took a few weeks back. Since when has this sick bastard following me. Finally something clicks in my brain ‘He’s a fucking stalker…. and I idiot go out drinking with him. He must have mixed something into my drink when I took a loo.’ It all makes sense now, but I have no time to think about this more now, I better get going as fast as I can. “You like your room?” ‘MY ROOM? RUN ALEX!!’ easier said than done, considering the handcuff on my right wrist. “Ye..yeah it’s ehm.. great. Where did you get all that pictures?” “I took them myself! I knew you would love it here!” ‘Please stop being so excited about this, you sick son of a bitch!’ again I feel vomit travelling up my gullet. The smile disappears from Joshua’s face. “Honey, what wrong?” he almost sounds like he is seriously concerned about my well-being. Gulping the barf back down I finally have the chance I was waiting for: “I don’t know, I feel sick. And I need to loo, could you open the cuffs, please?” I could applaud myself for that bullshit filled sweet-talk I pulled together. “Oh, no, that’s horrible, I didn’t know the drug would be so hard on you.” He says as it is the most normal thing in the world to drug another against their will. “Come here, baby.” He then goes on while leaning forward to open my handcuffs. All I want to do now is to run, but I have no idea about the flat’s layout and my chance would be toast in no time. “Thank you.” I exhale while I slowly sit up. I’m feeling dizzy, my throat is as dry as the Sahara and the fingers on my right hand tingle from the too tight handcuffs that were just around my wrist a minute back. “Where is the toilet?” I ask as innocent as possible and hope that he would be stupid enough to not suspect anything. “I will show it to you.” He answers with his greasy smile while standing up, lending me his hand so I could stand up and stabilise myself before following my abductor. Finally I can see the structure of the apartment, quickly figuring out which of the 4 doors around me is the door to freedom. “See, right here this door.” He says while turning around to face me. However I am not behind him anymore. With one quick movement I had stepped to the front door, and before he could do anything about it I had opened it with one charge of the little energy I had in my body and run for my live. We were pretty high up, which not exactly helps my escape but he seems as if he was startled by my escape enough to give me a few seconds head start. After what seemed endless stairs I reach the door that lead to the street. I thanked god for Joshua being naïve enough to leave the front door unlocked and release me from the cuffs. And now I thank him again, that Josh is living right at a busy street. I run and run, not daring to lock back to check if he is behind me. However I am still not too stable on my feet and so I run into someone, knocking over both of us.


	2. The Element of Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without wanting to spoil anything, here is a link to the song mentioned in this chapter, just so you can listen to it while reading if you'd like ^^  
> [The Lovers Acoustic by Alex](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uppjwdtxld8)
> 
> Now, please enjoy chapter 2 ^^

“Argh.. I’m so sorry, I was just..” ‘Fuck it.’ “I need help… please.” I beg to the man I had just bring to fall on his arse. “Help?” I immediately recognise his voice. As I look up I see that I once again am right. It’s the track suit guy, except he’s wearing a real suit this time, which is quit a look on him. One thing is clear right away, I can’t importune a customer with my private problems. A little surprised by the turn of events I try to check behind my back, but it seems like I had finally managed to shake my abductor off. “Hey..” my customers soft voice reaches out to me while I’m still panicky checking for Joshua. “..are ye ok? Wha’ ‘appened?” he asks while raising up again, brushing of some sidewalk dust off his bottom. I catch myself starring before I try to get back on my feet again as well. However it seems like I used up all my remaining energy and stumble one step closer to the other man. “Careful.” His voice warns me in a tune I would almost describe as solicitous. He grabs my biceps stabilising my from exhaustion trembling body. I realize that I still didn’t answer, and can see in his face that he is concerned. “A.. I.. no, never mind I ..” ‘Come on now, you know how to speak fucking full sentences.’ I urge myself before continuing with my lie: “I was just paranoid for a second and didn’t watch my way. I’m sorry,” I manage to mutter looking at my own feet. He is clearly not as dumb as Josh, since he keeps holding my upper arms tightly searching for my eyes to face him. “Dear, you look horrible” ‘Thank you..’ is what I think, even though I know that he must be right, considering what I just had escaped from. “I’m fi..” I try to convince him, when suddenly the street noises seem to draw distorted and in a far distance. I blink a few times, looking at the man in front of me, but even I try very hard all I see is a blur. ‘Not again..’ I manage to think before fainting into the stranger’s arms.

*

‘Fucking hell, my head’ as I finally regain my cautious I slowly open my eyes. All I see though is darkness. I’m am not sure why, but I don’t feel as frightened as I properly should. I am sure that I am not home, and not on the street, and the last thing I can recall is falling into the strong arms of the “new guy”. It’s clear where I had ended up and one thing was for sure, I didn’t want to stay. God knows maybe he is a stalker too, or worse. Before I can drive myself more insane I hear the door open. I don’t even have the time to close my eyes again. “I see you finally woke up” I hear the soothing voice of.. ‘I still don’t know his name’. I could have never imagined such a gentle voice behind that sharp manly face of his. “How do you feel?” he asks while kneeling down next to the bed, wringing out a cloth. I didn’t even realize the warm wet one on my head until now. I was far too busy envisioning of how horrible this man could be. But now that I see his face and hear his voice my heart beat calms down and I relax as he switches the cloths ‘God that feels good’. “Fank ye. And sorreh..” I hear myself finally talking, even though it sounds like a million years away. “Shhh, it’s ok.” he assures me. “You have a high fever, you should rest.” “Could I have some water?” I don’t want him to leave so I can sleep, I don’t want to be alone. “Sure, here.” He is prepared as he takes a glass of water from the night stand. I can’t even remember the last time I drank or ate anything, nothing wanted to stay inside my body the whole day. “What time is it?” “4AM” he answers, prepared again. I don’t know why he makes me feel so safe. Why I feel so safe all together. “What is your name?” I continue asking him. I want to keep him here, next to me. He rises from his squatting position to sit down on the side of the bed. “Miles. Miles Kane.” He almost exhales his last name. “Miles…” I repeat without planning to. “I’m A..” “Alexander, I know.” He interrupts me while showing of his crooked smile, I must admit I grew quit font of. Trying to keep my brain from freaking out again ‘How does he know me name’ I don’t even have to ask him, he tells me the most obvious reason, as if he could read my mind. “Well your bakery is called “Alex’ lil Bake shop” so I figured that’s your name.” I feel my cheeks heat up even more than they already are and blush. ‘Idiot.’ I think while dropping my head, letting my hair cover my face. “Is there anything else I can do for you? If not you really should rest now.” “NO!” I spit out a little louder than I was anticipating. “do.. don’t leave, please..” I sound despaired with my raspy voice and it hurts to talk. I see one of Miles’ eyebrows rise: “Will ye tell me wha’ ‘append on the street then?” he asks with a serious expression. I can’t and don’t want to tell him the truth. It’s still my problem, I should not bother him with it. “Maybe just some food poisoning, I ate out for dinner yesterday.” I lie, avoiding his kind eyes. ‘That doesn’t even make sense…’. I can’t tell if he believes me, and I don’t really care either. “Will.. will you sleep ‘ere?” I ask awkwardly, just a few hours back I couldn’t wait to be alone, away from other men who potentially hurt me. And now here I am wanting to beg my regular customer to share his bed with me. “Do ye want me to sleep ‘ere?” he counters, waiting for my reaction. As I lower my glace and nod timidly I lift my glace just at the right time to see his crooked smile flash over his mouth before he nods, peeling of his slippers from his feet after he walked around the bed to sit on the other side’s border of the queen sized bed.

*

I would have never imagined to sleep that well in a strangers bed. I felt relaxed and the fever must have gone down since I didn’t feel like taking a bath in a hellfire-pool anymore. As I open my eyes I catch myself being curled up in Miles’ arms. He is still asleep and looks even more handsome in the sparkling light of a Sunday morning. I lick my cracked lips subconsciously, while starring at his bare chest. I don’t even remember that he took off his shirt in the night. ‘Wow’ I think before slightly moving my hip away from him, trying to calm myself and my morning wood down. There is no use however, I need a shower and I believe he would agree, so I carefully snake out under his arm which he had lie over my shoulder while I had slept on his chest. ‘This apartment is ginormous!’ I think amazed while wandering around bare footed on my search for the bathroom. It’s amazing how much better I feel compared to the night before. As I check one door after another and not seem to be able to find the bloody shower I stumble over a very interesting room. As I open the door I see a floor to ceiling high window, flouting the room with waves of sunshine. At first that’s all that catches my eyes, but after I enter I discover that this room has so much more to offer. It’s full of instruments, from guitars, over drums and even a saxophone had its own little place in a corner. “WOW!” I exhale while entering the room deeper, closing up to the guitars, one ‘Gibson’ was calling for my attention straight away. It was hung at the wall and screamed to be played, even all the instruments seem like they are getting cleaned and played regularly. Since there is no chair in the room, so I choose to sit on the floor right in front of the window and check the instruments tune. ‘It’s perfect’ once again I’m buff. ‘Is he some kind of musician?’ I ask myself while playing a few random cords. It has been way too long since I last had lied hands on a wooden body of a guitar. Since I opened the bakery I didn’t really had any money spare to buy one, and also time was tight. I couldn’t afford to hire a help, so I basically spend my days from morning to night at the store, baking, cleaning, baking. It feels good to hear the soft notes escaping the instrument in my lap. I shortly stop, taking a moment to think of a song I still can remember how to play. The only thing coming to my mind is the song I was listening to in the bakery before I had closed the night before. I clear my throat and start playing ‘The lovers by Rod Mckune’. “Up from the pastures of boredom out from the sea of discontent…” I am clearly not as good as I was in high school, but I’m less rusty than I thought and so I lose myself in playing the song, until I reach the last cord and hear a clapping sound behind me. I jump up in surprise, hiding the guitar behind me, which still is very visible behind my slim frame. “M.. Mr. Kane.. sorreh I.. I was lookin’ for the shower an’ I found this room an’………. Sorreh.” I mumble, while quickly putting back the guitar from where I took it from the wall. “It’s Miles and why do ye apologize? Tha’ was great! You’ve got a beautiful voice, mate” I’m still startled so I try to change the topic, since I am a little embarrassed that he had heard me play and sing. “Did I wake you?” it suddenly escapes my mouth. Not really what I had in mind to change the topic. It was a thought I had but didn’t really wanted to word out to get away from the topic of me nosing around in his apartment and touching his stuff. “It was the loveliest alarm I’ve ever heard.” he chuckles while taking a step closer to me, I take one backwards, my heart suddenly racing as I look into his eyes. As I realize that I inhale deeply and lower my glace nervously. I feel him stepping yet again forward until he stands right in front of me. I look at him again, feeling my heart beating in my throat. I never was that close to him. ‘His eyes are beautiful’ I think to myself as I suddenly feel his hand on my cheek. “Here, make a wish.” He says with his calm deep voice while holding up an eye lash, which he had collected from my face. I smile sheepishly while closing my eyes to make a wish. I don’t know why but I wasn’t creeped out by him, not like with Josh. Just thinking of him made the blood in my veins freeze solid. When I was with Miles however I felt warm and all fuzzy inside my stomach. I slightly started blushing as I got winded up in my own head. My thoughts must have been written all over my face since the other suddenly started laughing. “Fancy a cup of tea or coffee?” he asks while already leaving the room without waiting for me to answer his question. Once more I face the wall with the guitars, the wing piano in the middle of the room, the small saxophone in the corner. A tiny sigh escapes my mouth while I leave the room, it had become my favourite room of this apartment in an instance. But I had no right to be here. ‘Maybe he is just too kind to tell me not to nose around here.’ I think to myself while following him in the black and white kitchen of his, where he prepares a cup coffee for himself. “So?” he inquires once more for my answer. “T..tea please.” My thoughts travel a 1000/miles an hour until they find a pull-in – my bakery -. ‘tea.. coffee.. breakfast.. BREAD!’ “Fuck! The bakery! I.. I gotta go!” Surprised by my sudden outburst Miles turns around, one of my signature cookies hanging from the corner of his mouth. “Do you feel better than?” he questions, biting an ear off of the teddy-bear cookie. “Ye..yeah! Thank you so much, you really saved me last night!” ‘He did’. If it wasn’t for Miles appearing in front of me the night before, I am sure Josh would have caught up with me and I would be back in his filthy apartment. A shiver runs down my spine as I think of this awful place. When I look at Miles again I see him holding a big warm looking sweater up. “Here, it god chilly over the night.”

*

Already from a 100 meter afar I see a small group of people standing in front of my still closed store. I hurry jogging over, immediately opening the front door. It was very unusual for me to open up late. I usually arrive around 5 am every morning to prepare and bake fresh bread and buns for the customers. Today however I was so late, that I could only offer them a hot beverage and a coupon for the next visit. Luckily they didn’t seem to be too upset about that option. As soon as I was thru with the first round of people I started mixing the dough.

After the group of people in the morning it was quiet for the day, which is good considering I am still far from feeling perfectly fine. What kind of shitty drugs had Josh given to me? ‘Gosh! I hope he won’t come in today!’ I begged to an invisible force that might would be out there, as I hear the little bells by the door ring. Since a dozen bread just got done I am in the back to get them out of the oven. As I hear the bells I immediately tense up, fearing it could be Josh. But right in that moment I hear a soft dark voice, “Alexander?”, it’s Miles! “Commin’” I answer quickly removing the last few bread from the oven, balancing them on a big wooden tray. Since I was so busy catching up with time I hadn’t have a second to check the mirror once today, and so I am met by a crooked but still kind smile when I face Miles in the shop area. “Summat on me face?” I ask unsuspectingly. “Just.. “ as Miles starts to talk he comes closer to the customer restricted area, to wipe some lost flour from my face, while I once again blush. “How are you feeling?” he then askes. ‘Did he come to check on me?’ I feel how my stomach is starting to dance around with a crowd of butterflies, while I enjoy my thought. It’s for my best that I don’t have a clue that Miles finds it quiet adorable of me getting stuck in my head all the time. I remember that I should answer him: “Yeah! Lots. Fank you again.” I finally answer while trying not to smile like an idiot at the slightly taller man. “Can I bring you something?” I should be more careful, I don’t want other customers to think that I flirt around like a little slut, that wouldn’t be good for the shop’s image, as well as mine. And besides that fact I don’t think Miles is into me, or man in that way. He seems to be such a nice guy, the last thing I want to do is to make him uncomfortable.

*

‘I wonder if I drove him away..’ I think on yet another evening just before closing time. Miles hadn’t come to the shop in over a week. I couldn’t help but constantly think of him. The fear of Josh coming in the shop had vanished since that day, he hadn’t come in as well, which I am more than happy about. I fooled myself in believing that he had lost interest in me after I had denied him and had run off. But as happy I am that that arsehole hadn’t found his way back into my bakery, as sad I was that Miles hadn’t shown up either. ‘Maybe he is busy, he must be.. or was I too much last time?’ what would I give to have him come in right now, smiling crookedly at me, buying some of the teddy-bear cookies he liked so much and sitting at his favourite spot in the corner of the floor deep windows in the front of the store. As I think about that I start to colour out more reasons why he doesn’t come anymore and lose complete sense of time. As I look up nearly 30 minutes later I freeze solid as I am faced with the tall American guy I hoped to never see again. He was soaking wet, as it had started to rain around an hour ago. I gulp so hard it almost hurts, while trying to play of my apprehension, by acting busy behind the counter. ‘How long was he standing there? I didn’t even hear him come in.’ as I glance over his shoulder I see that the bells had been removed. ‘What the fuck?!’ I start to panicky grope for my phone to call 999, to my horror I realize I must have left it in my apron. ‘Oh dear god..’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will start writing on chapter 3 now ^^   
> If you have any productive criticism for me, please let me know in the comments ^^  
> (Of course any kind of comment is appreciated <3 )
> 
>  
> 
> P.s: Thanks you everybody for reading so far, it makes me very happy to see you guys (seem) to enjoy it)


	3. Come Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To avoid any potential confusion, I chose to write this Chapter from Miles view ^^
> 
> Now please enjoy Chapter 3~ <3

I’m on my way home from the studio. Another long and hard day behind me I just want to go lie down and sleep. I didn’t even had time to go to my favourite little bakery around the corner since it was already closed at that time. ‘I wish recording would be done already.’ I think to myself as I turn around a corner and suddenly find myself sitting on the sidewalk. I’m not hurt, just surprised by the sudden impact. To my delight I find Alex sitting in front of me. As happy as I am to see him I can’t ignore the panic in his face, and the words that follow. “Help?” I ask, instantly worrying about the young man. As he looks up however he seems to realize that it’s me and after he checks behind his back the panic in his face seems to vanish. He seems to not feel well, in fact his eyes are glossy and he looks feverish. ‘I should call him a cap.’ I think as he suddenly faints into my arms. ‘I can’t leave him like this’ and so I take him with me.

*

After a quiet but long night I wake up to a familiar melody, an unfamiliar voice however “…tton, rises in their hearts like rain…” As I find the space next to me empty I don’t even have to count 2 and 2 together to figure out, that it’s Alex who is playing one of my guitars. ‘What a beautiful voice.’ I think while sneaking as silent as possible to my music-room. As I close up to the door and carefully push it open a little further I am able to hear his voice more clear and almost get lost in the moment. I would almost go as far as calling the scenery heavenly and him angelic, of course that would take it too far, or wouldn’t it?! He soon finishes the classic he was playing and I can’t help myself applauding his performance. I step deeper in the room, closing up to him and even he steps back at first I manage to catch his eyes with mine, locking our glances until I am only a breath away. I wish I could kiss him ‘Contain yourself, or you’ll lose him.’ a tiny little voice in my head tells me and I guess it’s right. I don’t want to lose my little muse. I am lucky, as I see a lost eyelash lying softly on his slightly blushed cheek. I carefully pick it up on my index finger to show it to him. “Make a wish.” I say while smiling at his confused expression. I really have to hold back to not go any further as I watch him closing his eyes and warily blow away the lash. And so as soon as it flies of I turn to leave the room, before I can’t hold back anymore. I should be ashamed of myself since I catch myself wanting him to not feel well enough to go to work. The last time I get a chance to see him is the next day. After that I am stuck in the studio almost day and night working on my new album. It takes me over a week to finally satisfy the producer and my manager enough to get a few days off. ‘It’s about time.’ I think to myself as I leave the studio, out into the fresh air of an early fall night. If it wasn’t for Alex and the inspiration my little muse gave me I would still be caught in the sticky draft of the studio walls. I’m tempted to go and visit my favourite little baker, which’s bake shop is located not too far from where I am. But as I check the time I realize that it will already be closed when I arrive there. ‘Maybe tomorrow then.’ I’m disappointed. I really miss Alex. Finally after I had chickened out to ask him on a date for a few months, the little incident a week back had brought us seemingly closer. I can’t tell if I am just delusional or if my feeling was right. ‘Maybe it’s a good thing - the bakery is already closed –‘ is my thought as I catch my reflexion in a boutiques window on my way home ‘what a mess.’ I had decided to take a walk for once and really breathe in the air. I’m somewhere between the bakery and my home as I hear a silent moan from one of the bushes I just walked by. I stop immodestly, checking for its origin. To my disturbance I find a person, crouched on the side of a tree, well hid by the bushes. ‘Is that?’ “Alex?” I ask just to make sure, since I can’t see his face in the shadows of the night. ‘It is him!!’ I quickly realize kneeling beside the younger man. “Wha’ ‘appened?” I can’t help, but to worry in an instance as he lifts his head, his cheeks wet from tears and a dark mark around his right eye. “Oh my god.” I didn’t plan on wording this thought but am too caught up in the scene. I react quickly, helping the poor boy up. As I do so he suddenly starts to wheeze under my grip and as we step into the lights of the side walk I see blood on my hand. “FUCK!!” I start to panic, but don’t want to stress the already weak man. ‘Ok..okokok just calm down.. get your shit together.‘ I try to control myself while fishing with me free hand in my skin tight track-pants for my phone. However I realize that it would take double the time to wait for an ambulance to arrive and so I decide to catch a cab.

As we arrive in the hospital and I have to let my status play it’s little magic the staff right away take care of the Alexander. Relieved I sit in the waiting area, knowing that the doctors will do what they have to. Even I am tired to a point that my body just want to give in my heavy eye lids I can’t sleep now, too great the worry for the baker. ‘I guess that answers my question about my feelings.’ I know that I like him, but to what extend just comes clear to me right in this moment. It doesn’t take long until a young nurse shows up by my side, telling me that they had to stitch the wound on his lower back. However since he is not in a live threatening state they ask me to take him home and make sure that he is looked after, since most of the beds in the building are occupied and they need to keep the very few free once clear for emergencies. Of course I agree with her, before I follow up to the treatment room. Alex is awake but doesn’t say a word. However as he realizes me being in the room he seems to loosen up and I am almost sure to see a faint smile crossing his lips.

*

“Miles?” I hear a weak raspy voice from my bedroom and quickly move there to see how Alex is doing. “You are awake. How do you feel?” I ask him right away on my way to the bedside. He had fallen asleep on the way to my apartment and so I had lied him in my bed, taking care of a slight fever, and worse a stabbing wound on his lower right back side. The question of what happened is still burning on my tongue, ‘not now.’ I know how to control myself – most of the time at least- and can stop myself from asking yet again. “You need something?” a much more important question leaves my lips while I stroke away a streak of hair from his slightly wet face. His fever is still present and doesn’t seem like it would go down as fast as it had the last time. Really, destiny seems to have its plans with us, always letting us ‘bump’ into each other in times of need. “Water..” he weakly squeezes out, finally answering me. I follow his request quickly moving back into the kitchen and preparing a glass of bottled water as well as a fresh cooling pack for his head. I am almost certain that he fell asleep again, as he suddenly opens his eyes, trying to get up on his elbows to drink the water I am handing him. However his back seems to sting him and he falls back to the bed, his wheeze threatening to break my heart. ‘God help me if I ever find out who did this to you..’ I think almost crushing the cooling pack. “Miles?” the soft voice of the younger man calls me back into reality. “Yes?” I ask swallowing the compulsion to add a nickname. As I see a hesitance gliding over his lips everything seems to vanish into the warmth of it. “Fank you.” he tells me before suddenly grabbing my shirt, pulling me into a soft kiss, his silk like lips gingerly touching mine. Caught in the moment I close my eyes answering his kiss in a much more confident flare. I feel him shaking under me, his body still weak from the fever and his injuries, so I place my hand on his back, while moving forward to bring him back to lie down on the bed. I hate to, but break the kiss. I don’t want to take advantage of him. But I feel like a 100°C watching as he slowly opens his eyes while licking his lips as if he just had the most delicious dessert. He looks happy: “Will you sleep ‘ere again?” his eyes shine, wait for my answer. “You want me to sleep ‘ere again?” I counter, smiling once more, shortly leaving the room, to turn out the lights of the apartment before lying next to him in bed. “Ca..can I .. hm.. could you come closer?” he asks me and I couldn’t be happier to follow his request, feeling him curling up into my arms. “Good night Miles.” he then says sleep drunken before I can feel him slipping into dreamland.

*

Sadly the morning isn’t as harmonic as it was the first time Alex had a sleep over in my apartment. He is still asleep when I got woken up by a phone call from no other than my manager. He apologizes, knowing that it is my day off, however he got an interview request by a very popular radio station and asks me to take the chance and show up in the night, at their headquarters. I agree ‘it’s not like I have a choice’. To take the call I had left Alex’ side in the warm comfortable bed, and now wish I could just lie back down next to the younger man, but I’m worried to wake him up by the movement. That wouldn’t be ideal since he needs all the rest he can get and so I prepare a simple breakfast, not only for me but for him as well in case he wakes up. I’m not good in that kind of stuff since I usually just buy sealed sandwiches on my way to work, or get provided with a buffets. ‘Well, it’s at least something’ I try to cheer myself up while walking, toast hanging out of my mouth, over to the music room. I want to prepare a song or two for the interview since they usually ask for that in radio shows. Without putting deeper thoughts into it I take the ‘Gibson’ guitar that Alex had used the last time from the wall. As I am about to play the first cord I hear Alex’ voice calling my name. I hope he didn’t wake up because of me, but since he is up I walk over to the other room, my guitar still in my hand. “Good morning.” I wish him with a bright smile while sitting down on the side of the bed, placing my guitar next to me. “Did you sleep well? I ask brushing away a lock from his face. “Morning.” his voice is still husky, painted by a deep feverish sleep. “Fank you.” he tells me yet again. “Hey, stop thanking me, I really didn’t do anything.” I scold him playfully. Following his glace I can see that his attention is drawn to the musical instrument next to me. “Sorreh, I didn’ want to disturb you.” he then says shyly adding “Maybe I should leave.” That’s the last thing I want and so I place my hand on his shoulder: “You don’t go anywhere, the doctors said you should stay in bed and be looked over, so that’s what we stick to.” I can’t help but smile at his big round eyes that look at me with a mix of gratefulness, confusion and a spark of affection. At least that’s what I want to believe it looks like. “You want to hear a song?” I ask him, still smiling like a complete dumbass. And I’m happy to see that he seems to quiet fancy my offer since his pale face lights up right away. “Ok, here I go. “I wanna make your smoke and kisses black and white…” “ just as I play the song I am caught up in my mind, thinking about the interview later that day and that it would be a perfect opportunity to finally man up and confess my feelings for Alex. I won’t come out as gay in the station, since I am sure my manager would suffer a heart attack if I did so, especially so short before the release of the Record. However I will let the young man know that that song is for him, he was the muse, leading my hand while writing the song. It is already recorded for the B-Side of a limited Edition Single of the Album. I wrote it a while back, when I first stepped into the small bake shop, not knowing it would change my live forever. I had locked eyes with Alex and was lost right at this moment. “…You rearrange my mind.” I finish the acoustic version of the song before opening my eyes and checking on the reaction of the other. He lies there, slightly lifted by the pillow in his back, staring at me with an open mouth. “You.. I… you.. …wow!” is all he seems to manage to tell me as a response and I can’t help but burst into laughter. I didn’t laugh like this in months but he brings it right out with his cute little loss of words. “That bad huh?” I tease him tickling out an even cuter reaction out of him: “NO.. no!! It was.. is amazing! You are so talented! Wow!” as he applauds me however his face suddenly turns a greater shade of white, as he is met by the sharp pain in his back. “Are you ok?” I quickly put away the guitar and kneel next to the head end of the bed. His face slowly relaxes and he tries to smile convincing at me. I had almost forgotten why he was in my apartment. But now, being remembered of it the question of what had happened the night before burned even hotter in my throat. Before I can ask him however I see him take a deep breath, finally opening up to me: “There is that guy.. he is a customer in the bakery and .. he is a stalker.. The last time I ran into you was after he had abducted me and I was able to run away from him. Yesterday however, I was just about to close the store, he suddenly stood in front of me. I tried to get out but he knocked me out, I guess that’s where I got that face-paint..” I can tell that it’s hard for Alex to talk about it and that he tries to loosen up the mood by sneaking in this little phrases, so I smile to let him know that everything is ok, and that he can continue, which he does: “I found myself in his arms while he tried to take me back to his place I suppose, I didn’t know he was prepared and so, when I tried to run away he attacked me with scissors, he must have taken them from my store…” After that outburst of words in a record tempo Alex fell silent for a moment. He looked away, trying to hide his face as he started to shiver. “I.. I’m scared Miles.. I’m sure he knows where I live by now.. I don’t.. I don’t know how far he will take it next ti..” his voice breaks before he can finish his sentence but I already heard enough and so I move closer, turning his face to me and looking deep into his eyes. “Listen, he will never. EVER. again lie hands on you, not as long as my heart beats in my chest!” I mean it, my heart is burning of anger towards the bastard that had hurt my lovely muse. After starring each other deep in the eyes for a while I subconsciously lick my lips leaning in and kissing the other man’s soft lips tenderly. I don’t let myself get too carried away though since I am still not sure if he is really ok with it. He is scared and hurt and I don’t want to confuse him any further. After a short awkward silence we start to talk, about everything and anything. We don’t even feel time pass and so it quickly turns night time. As I realize that I should leave I worry to leave Alex at my home alone, too big the fear something could happen to him while I’m gone and so, without further notice to my manager I just take him along to the studio. “So, Miles, I can call you that, right? Soon your new record will be released. Can you tell us anything about the process of making it? What inspired you along the way?” the radio host askes, following the regular question any kind of media always asks. Anyhow, this time it’s a first, that I’m not bored by them. This time there really is a story behind the music of this album. As I answer I can’t keep my eyes from Alex who sits with some of the staff of the radio in another room behind a big glass window. Finally I get asked to play a song, I was waiting for that moment the whole day. Even I had played the song to Alex earlier that day, now with god knows how many people to listen to it, it feels different and I am a little nervous. “I wrote this song, mused by a person that holds a very special place in my heart.” I look over to Alex to signal him that I mean him, before I start playing. I want to play it perfectly, really bring across my feelings for the other. But when I again try to make eye contact to the young man again, I see his face turning white before he jumps up from his chair, quickly leaving the room. All I want to do is follow him in this moment, but I can’t, I’m stuck in the studio, have to finish the song. “Alex..” I think worrying I had gone too far, scare him away and perhaps even put in danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the 3rd Chapter of this little story ^^  
> I anticipate the next Chapter to be the last one (but we'll see where the story-line leads me ;) )
> 
> Also I'm sorry for yet again another cliffhanger hihi I couldn't help myself <3
> 
> As always I'm looking forward to read your opinion in the comments ! Thank you everyone in advance ^^


	4. Black Plant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to upload this chapter (well longer than usually).  
> I had to fight a heavy migraine the past few days and also was bothered by plot holes all over the chapter, so I had to re-write it a few times.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this rather short chapter!
> 
> Ps: I also want to note, that I am quite nervous about posting this chapter since I never wrote anything like this, by reading you will see what I mean (also its in the updated archive warnings) ㅠㅜ (Please don't judge me too hard guys ㅠㅜ)

 I’m not sure why, but as a strong and unforgiving thunderstorm forms right above our heads, I get a feeling in my stomach. A feeling like an Omen that I properly shouldn’t ignore. However my excitement about finally seeing Miles perform shushes my thoughts of a bad fortune and so I follow him and his manager into the building of the radio station. Just as we enter a strong and almost deafening thunder accompanied by a blinding flash of lightning turns the night into day for a moment. Surprised by the sudden noise I almost jump at Miles arm, tightly holding onto his biceps. It’s only when we are in the elevator that I realize what I’m doing and let go of him. My mouth forming a >Sorry<, while he just smiles in response. I love that crooked smile of his, it is kind, forgiving and - in a way I never thought I would feel - attractive. ‘Don’t stare like a fucking idiot and move.’ I scold myself before awkwardly standing next to the other man in the tiny elevator. I hope we won’t get stuck in such a small space. I wouldn’t mind if it was only Miles and I but there is his manager and a staff with us and that makes it so much less interesting to get trapped in a lift. Wind up in my daydream and phantasies I don’t realize that we are already in the 6th floor, where the recording room of the station is located. “Ya realleh seem to enjoying yeself?” Miles chuckles “Are ya coming or ya wanna keep ridin’ tha’ thing up and down the buildin’?” of course I know that he is just kidding, nevertheless I blush hard-core before hiding my face by lowering my head. ‘Good fucking job. Dreamer. I’m sure he thinks I’m a complete twat.’ To not fall into the deep hole of my thoughts again I quickly shake my head following everyone into the Studio room. It’s my first time in such a place, which makes everything very exciting for me. Miles is led into a room behind a giant window as a wall. I keep my eyes on him the best I can without staring.

After a short interview the DJ asks the Musician if he could play a song or two for the audience out there listening. I know just how well prepared Miles went here and so I’m shifting in my seat, I was looking forward to this. The little teaser of his talent he gave me in the morning made me hungry for more and finally it will be stilled. “I wrote this song, mused by a person that holds a very special place in my heart.” he answers the DJ with a wide smile, before hitting the strings of his sunburst “Les Paul” and winks in my direction, I feel how my cheeks yet again heat up. My heart is filled with warmth as I listen to the older man’s singing. I am quite unsure why I respond to him like this, but I enjoy it and I get the feeling that I don’t want to be apart from this crooked man anymore. Caught up in my thought’s I almost didn’t realize what he just said. ‘He said he wrote it, “mused” by someone. Is that?’ as I think about how he might could have referred to me our glances meet and I feel ensured about my thoughts. ‘He must have written it while he was in the bakery.’ That could be the only conclusion since so far we only met once outside of it, until last night that is. My cheeks heating up while I watch his skilful fingers stroking the strings of the guitar. How I wish I was that guitar right now. I’m very close to get sucked into my daydream of him and me, lying in bed while his fingers paint imaginative shapes on my naked skin. Suddenly I get a funny feeling, a feeling I know very well by now. It’s a feeling of claustrophobia, trapping me, making me unable to move. Bitten by the feeling my heart beat speeds up to a level that almost makes me worry my heart could jump out of my chest any second. My smile gets oust by fear as I surely identify the staff, sitting across the room from me. I know that tall bulky frame of the man sitting at the mixing panel. ‘Oh please no!’ I beg in my head while slowly standing up, to leave the room before the staff could notice me as well. It’s just a chance I don’t want to take, even I feel sorry for Miles, as I leave the room and see his eyes looking disappointed at my now empty chair. A big breath of relive exits my lungs. I had managed to close the door silently enough to convince myself no one heard it. ‘Now what?’ I ask myself, looking around while standing in the long corridor of the 6th floor. ‘I could go down and wait there for Miles. Or…’ before I can finish the thought I hear the door behind me open. ‘It could be Miles looking for me..’ I almost freeze on an instance as I see that it’s not Miles but Joshua. ‘Oh fuck.’ hastily I try to push him aside, so I can run away. A stupid plan as he is much bigger, and stronger than me. He immediately grabs my wrist and holding it tight. “Ahh..” I wheeze out before he speaks: “What a lovely coincidence! I didn’t dream of meeting you here. I guess my suggestions to invite Kane to the show was a good idea. I missed you, love.” He says, his voice greasier than ever. ‘That’s no coincidence!’  “Let go of me, please.” I beg him. However I know that I already caused enough trouble to Miles and so I try to keep it quiet. How big is the contingent that he would do anything to me, nevertheless we are at his workplace.I am so naïve, once again I become aware of that fact. Since I am still pretty weak from my injury I stand no chance against the tall American and so it doesn’t take him a lot of afford to overpower me.

*

I don’t know how much time past since the incident in the corridor in front of the studio, all I feel is every inch of my body aching. I almost get a heart attack as I open my eyes seeing Joshua squatting next to me smiling like a maniac. “Jo..Joshua..” I stutter, trying to calm my voice. ‘Fuck I can’t move’ I think terrified as I feel that he had tied me up to the radiator. I’m sure the terror is written all over my face while I try to free my hands from behind my back. Josh doesn’t say a word, he just sits there, smiling while holding up a glass of what I assume is water. “I’m sure you are thirsty.” he finally speaks while holding my jaw with one hand, leading the glass to my lips. However I press them together. “Aww, don’t fight it, I can see the thirst in your eyes.” To avoid his eyes I turn my head away from him, only to be forced back by his strong hand, this time on my neck pushing me into the heater behind me. Surprised I groan out, pressing my eyes tightly together. “I say drink, you drink, stubborn little slag!” he sounds angry. It’s the first time he seems to lose his patience with me. Before I can defend myself against his hand I feel his strong lips on mine, I almost gag as I feel his slippery tongue making its way into my mouth by parting my lips. I try to fight it but feel a liquid flowing into me, coming from Joshua. I almost feel like drowning so I can’t help it but swallow. As I open my eyes to see what it is, I see that it must be the substance from the glass, however it doesn’t taste like water. “You will feel much better soon, love. Don’t worry, I will take care of you!” he explains calmly. Before I can ask what he means with that my vision blurs and I feel my body getting heavier, a rush of overwhelming heat crawling down my spine. ‘What the fuck did he give me..’ I start to panic as I realize he must have drugged me yet again. “You know sweety, you really hurt my feelings last time! Running away, hiding and then leaving with that cunt Kane. That was not nice of you!” his voice sounds threatening. Suddenly everything comes clear to me, his whole plan unfolding before my inner eye. He had managed to make Miles come to the studio, knowing he wouldn’t leave me home alone. He must have seen us coming from the hospital, or on the way there. ‘He planned all of this.’ I blink a few times, trying to sharpen my view just enough to maybe see where we are. One thing is for sure, this isn’t his apartment. “Now, I hope you will be a good boy. Wouldn’t it be a pity if someone would slip a word, about Kane fucking little twats he picks up at local baking shops? You don’t want to take that responsibility, do you? Besides, I’m sure he wouldn’t forgive you for that.” I feel my heart dropping to my stomach. ”What do you want from me?” I manage to push out of my stiff lips. “You.” he shrugs “See, Aly, I was waiting so long to finally have you to myself. And if you are a good boy Kane's secret will stay in within this room. Besides I believe your back must still hurt, just relax, we don’t want it to get worse.” ‘Fucking maniac.’. I have to fight myself to not spit in his gruel face. I can’t risk Miles career. This is just a small price to pay for the happiness of the man I love. And there I realize it. ‘I love Miles.’ I feel happy and stupid at the same time, however now is no time for any of that. I see Josh already growing impatient again. “You won’t run away, right Aly?” he asks me his voice sweeter than a marshmallow. Wrested from my thoughts I shake my head and give the man space to take of the cable wire from my wrists. “Very good” he praises me. “Now, don’t be too loud, we don’t want anyone to hear us.” his words make me realize that we must be somewhere close to civilization. “Let’s just enjoy our night together Aly. I’m sure you will enjoy just as much as I will.” “Wha.. what is ye.. p.plan..” I was stupid to think that he only wanted me to stay with him. I just realize now that he wants more. As I said before I surprise myself with just how naïve I am at times. “Oh don’t worry my love, it won’t hurt. If I am right, you are still a virgin, aren’t you?” ‘OMG! How does he know that?!’ I am shocked, I didn’t expect him to know every detail about me, but apparently he does. “Don’t get me wrong, it took a lot of afford and time to find out, but it was worth it. And honestly after finding your Ex, it didn’t take me too long to make him speak.” The creeps running down my spine don’t do my horror justice. “See, an arse that’s been fucked before is just boring! Where is the fun in that.” He makes it sound as if his words are the most logical and normal thing on earth. I gulp hard, trying to avoid his glace. I can’t forget about Miles however, he already went thru so much trouble because of me, I can’t and I won’t let Joshua ruin his career. As I fight with my own disgust of the big American in front of me I suddenly see his face coming closer. “Now, let’s stop wasting time! Lie down!” I try to obey, but I can’t move my body. “Oh stupid me, the drug seems to already work its magic on you. Come here, let me help.” he almost looks thrilled by how helpless I am. ‘What the fuck is going on, my whole body feels numb.’ As he lies me down I feel the world spinning around me, I’m not sure if that’s the drugs work or the pure apprehension I am suffering. “Just leave it to me, I promise you won’t forget tonight, for the rest of your life!” With this words he suddenly moves down pulling up the shirt I had borrowed from Miles just before we left. He drags it over my head and secures my hands over my hands with its fabric. I don’t want to look at him, so I stare at the ceiling above me, while I feel him placing kisses all over my body, moving downwards. “No..” I protest in almost a whisper. It’s hard to talk, as well as breathing. “Please.. why are you..” before I can finish my question he pulls down my pants with one strong tug, revealing my underwear. ‘Oh please.. god… please no..’ hot tears rolling down my cheeks almost leave my skin burning. “Your body is so beautiful, so pure and clean.” His deep voice rings in my ears. I don’t want to hear any of that bullshit. ‘Please let it be a nightmare! Let me wake up in Miles arms, on a warm Sunday morning, let it be his soft warm voice waking me up from this hallucination..' my begging is hopeless. Hot and cold shivers replace the feeling of the lunatic’s lips. The dark sticky air around me makes me lose track of the time and reality. I regret everything: not telling Miles what I feel for him, not screaming for his help when I faced Joshua in the corridor, not staying in the room with the crew in the first place. ‘It serves me well, I’m a fucking idiot.’ I feel my body trembling, as the bigger man makes his ways to my thighs. “NO!” I scream as he tears my trunks while splitting my legs like I am a doll, until he is provided free access to do whatever he wishes. “M….Mi…!” I cry out, helpless, hoping he would just appear out of thin air coming to my rescue. I’m despaired, however my resistance seems to heat up the bastard in front of me. With a strong unforgiving trust he pushes his whole length into me. Deeper and deeper with every move he nails me down to the hard floor, kissing and sucking on my chest, leaving relics of his triumph. I hear my voice screaming from the top of my lungs. It hurts, everything hurts, as he keeps fucking me mindlessly. Just as I’m about to pass out I feel a warmth flowing down my inner thighs. My breathing hardens “Stop! Please.. why.. why…” “Oh yes! You are so tight! You like that, don’t you!” he moans in lust. With the last energy I seem to emerge from my body I pull my arms down trying to push him away, but there is no use. “You are such a little treat!” he moans again while suddenly pulling his phone from the back pocket of his jeans. As my body finally seems to give up I hear a few shutter sounds in the back of wherever before I feel one more burning push into my guts. Finally I hear nothing, I feel nothing and everything seems to be gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may see, that's not the end, even I thought it would be. But there is just so much more to tell of.  
> I hope you guys will stay tuned for chapter 5! Let's see where the story leads us!
> 
> Anyways I want to thank everyone for your support, Kudos and Comments! It's a great motivation to see you all enjoy the story so far!
> 
> I hope to see you all back in the next chapter! <3
> 
> Have a lovely day or night and please let me know what you think ^_^
> 
> (P.s.: I hope this chapter wasn't too all over the place, this is only my second FF I ever wrote and so I still got a lot to learn ㅠㅜ)


	5. Sequels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we have it Chapter 5 ^^ His one flowed so fast from my hands that I had to re-read it a few times ^^;;
> 
> Anyways I hope you will enjoy it <3
> 
> Ps.: Here is a link to the song mentioned in the Chapter: [Blackbird - The Beatles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo_DMGc2v5o)
> 
> (I know this song actually is about the fight against racism, homophobia and sexism, (the city 'Blackbird' in Britain is known to be a hotspot for that sadly) anyways I thought it kinda suited in the mood of the scene ^^)

I ruined it.. he is gone for good.’ after Alex had left his seat in the studio I had no chance to follow him, I couldn’t just stop playing. ‘Maybe he just needs to wee’ that’s what I had told myself, even I didn’t really believe my own thoughts. After my section of the broadcast was done I had left as fast as I could to look for the smaller lad. I couldn’t manage to find him however, so my brain told me to give up. It told me I had messed things up and drove Alexander away. My brain must have forgotten, that I am no one to just give up. I really like Alex, maybe more than I know. He inspires me, freshens the air in my head and brightens my days. ‘No! I can’t just give up! Come on! THINK!!’ as my thoughts get louder I’m suddenly struck by an idea. The only place I hadn’t checked yet. Seriously, I wouldn’t argue if someone straight up called me an idiot right now. I quickly wave for a cab to pick me up and tell the driver the address. ‘Maybe I was wrong after all. But where else could he be..?’ as I arrive there is no light in the building. I was so sure he must be in the bakery. It is a very obvious hiding place, as I learned from one of Alex’ and my conversations it’s a safe place of his. It always had been since he bought the place a few years back. ‘Let’s see, doesn’t hurt to take a closer look.’ I tell myself while stalking over to the now strangely abandoned looking baking shop. I keep safe of the front door however, since I don’t want to trigger any alarm system the younger man might have installed for safety reasons. So I move and check the backdoor. I really start to praise the talk Al and I had this afternoon. He told me that he trusts me –which made me quite happy, though for some reason I trust him just as much-. In that context he also told me where the spare key of the bakery was, just in case of an emergency. ‘Sorry Al, but this is an emergency to me!’ I am not sure if Alexander would share my opinion on that, but to find him is my number one priority. I hope he will understand while I look around for a little oddly round shaped stone. I must admit, that is just a genius idea to hide a key. After looking around for a few minutes I finally find it, screw on the stone until a little container beneath it is open and reveals the spare key. “Bingo!” I exclaim a little louder than I anticipated. Quickly I fish it out of the small space, brush some dirt off of it and open the back door. It is dead quiet inside, although I am met with the lovely smell of fresh baked goods. I ignore my hunger, focusing on the reason why I had just intruded Alex’ safe place. ‘Was that…?’ I stop for a moment to listen more closely to a tiny little sound and where it might had originated. “Alex?” I ask, since I don’t want to startle him. There it is again, it almost sounds like someone is breathing heavily in a dark corner. I’m not sure if it’s him, and I hope it’s not an intruder. I don’t have to wonder for long though as I recognize his hazel-locks right away. “AL!” curled up in a foetus position the young man lies on the floor motionless. The only noticeable movement being his shoulder rising and falling with his breathing. ‘Poor little guy.’ So far I have no idea what had happened in the past 2 hours I had spent looking for him. It just takes me a few steps to reach him and kneel down next to him, carefully raising his head to my lap. The darkness in the bakery makes it hard to see his angelic face. “Alexander?” I try to wake him up by shaking his body slightly, however there is no response whatsoever. I feel my heartbeat speed up right away. “AL?” I ask louder, feeling his cheeks and forehead. “FUCK!” he feels hot, way hotter than the whole night before. I have to act immediately.

*

“Alexander..AL..ALEX!” shortly after finding him I had brought him back to my place where I took care of him. Just as my tired body had forced my heavy eyelids to shut I was awaken by movement. It seems like he has a nightmare and so I try to wake him up. ‘I can’t just leave him in this agony.’ after calling his name a few times he finally seems to regain consciousness. “Thank god! You had a nightmare, love.” I am surprised as the others eyes widen right as he hears my voice “Mi..?” his voice breaks however before he even can finish my name. “Yes, it’s me. We ‘r at me place.” I explain, since I figure that that’s what I would want to know if I was in his position. Carefully I tuck a strand of his long soft locks behind his ear. I want to know what happened, why he had suddenly left, why he had hidden. I want to know everything, but I hold myself back: ‘Now is not the moment.’ “You..ehm.. ya properly don’ wanna see me right now. ’m sorreh I went too far by playin’ the song in front of everyone.. Joost I..” I stop myself from mumbling any more right there: “If ya need anyfing joost call for me, yeah?” I inform him before one more time checking on the wet cloth on the others forehead before raising from the edge of the bed, away from Alex warmth. However before I can stretch my body fully I feel his feverish hand on my wrist. His eyes are wet ‘Oh dear, is he crying?’ his mahogany eyes look like glass to a point that I can see my reflexion in them. His glace is despaired, sad and begging. I instantly sit back down next to him, nuzzling his soft hair until his breath, which had raised with me, calms down. “Shhh, it’s ok, I’m not leaving. Let me just get you some water and a fresh cloth ok? And when I’m back we should peel you out of this clothes, ok?” I almost whisper to him before I go to get the water and a fresh cold cloth. I shortly consider to bring him back to the hospital, however his fever already calmed down since we arrived back in my flat, and as he had told me in the morning he hates hospitals, after catching a multi-resistant virus his mother had died in one, when he was still very young. As I enter the bedroom again Alex tries to sit up immediately: “slowly..” I remind him as he wheezes, what I think is caused by his injury on the back. However as I pull away the blanket to help him undress my eyes widen by the picture unfolding in front of them. The white sheets Alex is lying on are stained red, so are his trousers. In the shadows of the night, the rush and worry I hadn’t noticed the blood colouring his navy-blue jeans. “Oh my god..” I express in shock as I look up to the others face. He seems embarrassed lowering his head while fishing for the blanket. “Wha… wha’ ‘appened? You are bleedin’.. did ye stich’s come undone?” ‘but why would he be embarrassed by that?’ I ask myself while grabbing on to the sheets, so he can’t hide under them. “I’m sorry, but we really need to get you out of this damp clothes.’ I explain to him before tugging on his belt buckle. “NO!” he exclaims startling me before suddenly staggering from the bed and locking himself in the bathroom. “ALEX?” I call after him “Please wait, please le’me help ya!” I follow him as fast as I can, only get the door slammed into my face. “Alex? Please ’m sorreh, did A do somethin’?” he doesn’t answer, but as I listen carefully I hear weeping behind the closed door. It sounds heart breaking, I want to help him, but I know that I should not force myself on him, so all I can do is wait. I slowly slide down the wall next to the bathroom door, leaning my head back on the wall closing my eyes. All I can think of his my little muse, his smiling face this morning and the excitement in his eyes when I told him I would take him with me to the radio station. I grin a little remembering of how agitated he was by the sudden thunderstorm outside the building. As I remember that my body recalls the feeling of the young lad’s hands clinging on my biceps and I can’t help but smile while touching my own upper arm. I pull myself out of the memories before I messed up everything and yet again hear the sobbing behind the door. ‘Oh baby…’ I pity my little muse in my thoughts. ‘Maybe.. yeah that could help..‘ I slowly stand up to wander over to my music room, grabbing a fairly small acoustic guitar and sitting back down next to the bathroom door. Before starting to play I quickly check the tune, then I go on to play “Blackbird” by the Beatles. “Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly…..” I didn’t play the song in a while and even forgot some of the lyrics, but whenever I can’t remember I hear a tiny broken voice coming from the bathroom. It relieves me to hear my plan working. Just this morning he had told me how much he likes the Beatles. It seems like the music calms Alex down, at least I don’t hear any crying anymore. I continue playing some more songs, hoping the young man would open the door at some point. However since the night before had already been exhausting I find it more and more difficult to fight the sleep crawling over my mind.

*

I must have fallen asleep since I am awaken by the sunlight tickling my cheeks. A little disoriented I stretch my tired limbs before rubbing my eyes and placing the guitar that had slept in my lap next to me at the wall. I suddenly remember why I had slept here and check right away if the door is unlocked. It’s just that moment when I also realize that there is a small fleece blanket spread over my legs. I don’t remember putting it there is I guess it was Alex. And I can confirm, the bathroom door is wide open next to me, however there is no trace of the other man. ‘He must have gone back to bed.’ I hope, since he was in a very bad condition the night before. I have to fight the urge to go check on him right away. I first need a wee, crucially. I quickly jump up, closing the bathroom door quietly behind me. I also take the chance to take a shower and proper up a bit. The past few days had marked me and I almost look a little dilapidated as I peek into the mirror above the sink. After a nice hot shower I shave and move to the kitchen at once to prepare a nice healthy breakfast for Alex. Despite being tired I’m in a good mood, it’s mainly caused by relieve that the other had left the bathroom. He needs the rest. ‘Perfect!’ I praise myself looking at the fresh waffles and sausages lying on a plain plate on a tablet in front of me. Before entering the bedroom I knock with my elbow. I don’t want to scare the other yet again. I soon have to realize however that the bed is abandon, the younger lad is nowhere to be found. I search the whole flat until I return to the bedroom. A long dragged sigh leaves my lungs as I let myself fall onto the bed. Disappointment is about to eat me up when I suddenly feel something scratch my cheek. I find a small piece of paper on the pillow which still smelled a hell lot like my young baker. Becoming aware of that fact I can’t help it but take a few deep breathes from the pillow before turning to lie on my back so I can read the tiny note properly. ‘I’m sorry about yesterday, but I need some time. Please don’t hate me. Al’ I read out in my mind. I suddenly feel guilty as I realize just how much the other had gone through in the past 48 hours alone and I get the feeling I don’t even know half of it. I place the note together with my hand on my heart slowly closing my eyes, getting intoxicated by the young man’s scent left on my cushion.

*

A few days pass by. I’m counting them until it’s a week. I still have not heard a word from Alex and I start to worry. Suddenly my days seem long, so empty and dull without him in them. I hadn’t dared to go to the bakery, even I was sure he would be there. He had no one else to take care of it, or that’s what I assume. I had finished my new record just the other day and so a void had formed around me. Day by day I seem to get sucked into it deeper and deeper, just lying on the bed, slipping in and out of sleep. Everything seems like a struggle to get done. In all my life I had never felt like this. I am a very clean and driven person, well I was until I met the young baker. That’s not true, after meeting him I was even more enthusiastic to get everything and anything done, so I could get more time, time to be potentially be with him. I don’t even know if he wants that, but I am love drunken. ‘I have to forget about him, it’s over, he properly already forgot about me.’ I tell myself trying to get hold of reality. It doesn’t take long until I feel my eyelids get heavier again and an enticing dream pulling on my sleeves. I almost suffer a heart attack as my phone starts buzzing and screaming “You say goodbye and I say hello…” I quickly turn to fish for my phone on the bedside table. I didn’t look at that thing in a few days. No one had called until now anyways. The number displayed is unknown to me, however I get the feeling that I should take it. ‘It could be…. Alex…’ I didn’t want to think of him anymore, but I had given him my number before we went to the studio, just in case. I quickly clear my throat from the sleep that already had started to settle down. ‘Here we go… pleaaaasse’ I beg in my head before finally swiping the green button on the display. I can’t recall ever being so nervous to take a simple phone call. “’ell…erhem.. ‘ellow?” I answer my voice crispy from the tension I had brought among myself. My heart skips a beat or two when I hear a almost whisper-quiet voice “’Miles” on the other end. ‘It’s HIM!’ I am sure of it, that must be him. “A…Alexander?” I try to confirm without sounding too excited. “h…Hey.. uhm.. huh.. erhm..” there is no doubt left in my mind that it’s in fact the young backer calling me. Even though I’m anxious to hear what he wants to say I don’t interrupt him. “Can we …. talk? Not on the mobile.. can ya… come ‘ere? To…tonight maybe?” he finally manages to utter. “Tonight?” I reconfirm. “sorreh maybe ye’r buseh I…” “NO! I mean.. no I’m free, what time suits you?” I almost feel awkward talking with him like this, we had gotten so close the past weeks and all it took was one week to seemingly pull us apart. “N.. nine?” it’s the time he usually closes the store, so I assume that’s where he is right now. “Sure, sounds great, wan’ me to pick ye oop there?” I’m trying to drag the call as long as possible, taking mental notes of every word he says. “Yes please.. uhm I gotta go.” he quickly spills into the receiver before hanging up. It takes me a while before taking the phone off my ear as well. Starring at the screen I remember I should properly save the young man’s number. >Alex Bakery< is what I type first, before removing it and writing >Me little Muse< instead. Satisfied with the name I put the phone back to where I took it from before jumping off the bed. My mood has swung 180 degree around. It’s amazing what a few second long call can do to someone - apparently crazy in love -. By now I’m sure of it, I am madly in love with the baker, I would go as far as saying ‘up right crazy’ about him. As I almost dance to the bathroom to finally get a shave I realize something while looking in the mirror: ‘What if he wants to tell me to never see him again? To disappear from his live for good?’ I stare at myself for a second before I shake my head: “Why would he ask me to come over if he doesn’t want to see me..? Idiot” I tell myself out loud into the mirror before spreading the shaving cream generously all over my chin and jaw.

*

It feels like an eternity until it’s finally 8.30. I am ready to leave the flat since 1 hour already, but waited until now, so I won’t be too early. The prospective of seeing him makes my sweat go cold, ‘Let’s do this.’ I encourage myself before grabbing the keys to my apartment as well as my Ford Cortina. It’s exactly 9pm when I arrive in front of the bake shop. The light is still on and I also see someone inside, cleaning the floor with a mop, however I can’t seem to manage to see Alex ‘Did he hire a help after all?’. I enter the little bakery keeping my eyes fixed on the man swabbing the floor. He has a slim but fit frame, his hair is short, slicked back in what I assume is a quiff - as far as I can tell from behind - and he sends pheromones straight at me. “Erhm.” I start, before clearing my agitated throat, “Excuse me.. I am looking for Alex Turner, the owner, is he in?” I politely ask the man whose back I’m still facing. As he turns around however I feel my heart stop for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading yet another chapter~  
> The story is getting much longer than I thought, I hope you still enjoyed it and will come back for chapter 6~
> 
> Have a lovely day or night~ <3
> 
> Ps; Thank you guys for the lovely comments under the last chapter it made my heart jump of joy reading your encouragement for Alex (and Miles)^^


	6. Out of Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we are, Chapter 6!  
> Little more action in this one ^^  
> I hope you will enjoy it! <3

“A…Alex?” I can’t believe it. “Is.. that.. y..wha… where.. is ye hair?” I seem to have lost control over my language. The young man’s aura, his hair his expression and posture are all completely different from the man I know, or I believed I knew. His hair is slicked back into, what I assumed right before, a quiff which suits him like it was invented exclusively for him. It takes me a while to adjust and get my mind at least sorted out enough to talk. However he is faster: “Ya like it?” his voice betrays his cool new image, its thin from the nervousness. “It..it’s great! Ya.. it’s..” ‘For fucks sake just talk like a normal person.’ I scold myself, not knowing that Alex had the same inner monolog times and times before while talking to me. Usually I am eloquent, relatively quick adjusting and reacting on situations, I even was coached in this so I wouldn’t mess up interviews. However the new appearance of the baker made me forget all my skills, leaving me hanging helpless as I search for the right words to express my feelings. “Fank you.” he says not being able to hide a relieved and slightly flattered smile. “Can we.. go somewhere? T’ talk?” he continues while fiddling with the knot on his apron. “Sure, we can take me car, where’d ya fancy?” It seems my brain finally has gotten a grip of the situation ‘F.i.n.a.l.l.y!!’ and starts working normal again. ‘He looks so different..-so.hot-’ I think, catching a good look at the others sweet tight arse, as he locks the front door and leaves with me though the back. As we sit next to each other in my Cortina I can’t help it but to steal a glance of the young man a few times. It doesn’t take us long to arrive at “The Cavern Club” a pub not too far from where Alex lives. “So how have ye..” “’m sorreh..” we both start talking at the same time after ordering our drinks. “Oh, ye first.” I offer and Alex takes it: “’m sorreh, for not callin’ an’ all..” he watches the ice ball in his “Bulleit”. ‘I guess it’s my turn to say something’ I realize as an awkward silence forms between us. “It’s fine really, I figured you needed some time. How are you doing?” this question was burning in my throat for the past week. It seems as if he is sunken into a daydream, as he often is. It doesn’t bother me though, I quite adore it actually. I watch his face for a while, forgetting not to stare as he starts biting his lip ‘wow..’ I gulp as I feel a small heat wave traveling down my body and also heating up my cheeks. My heart beats faster and if I was the Miles from last week I maybe would push it on the beer. However the week away from the younger lad had taught me that it never was alcohol or tiredness or any other excuse I had found in the past while being with Alex, it was attraction, lust and maybe even love for the other. Finally he returns from his daydream to yet again ‘knock my socks off’ “I fink it’s betta to come straight to the point.. Can I move in with you? Please?!” my eyes widen and I consider being dreaming. ‘Did he? WHAT?’ my brain threatens to blow up and I even choke a little from my beer. I need a second to collect myself and calm my heart: “Move in? With me? Like.. now?” I ask stupidly, but want to make sure I heard right. “Sorreh.. It’s stupid I know.. Joost.. I slept the whole past week in the bakery and I don’t fink I should do tha’ anymore.. bu.. I can’t afford another apartment.. an..” he stops there to shift nervously on his barstool. I watch him chewing his own bottom lip off. I don’t really know what to say, of course I wouldn’t mind having him live with me, I mean I have a huge crush on him but it would be fucking hard to control myself. As my mind travels a 1000miles/hour I suddenly remember the last time we had met. Alex had told me that there was a maniac after him, stalking him. I was so focused on myself, wanting him back and what not that I totally had completely forgotten about it. “Oh! Well yes. I..I mean sure!” I finally bring myself to answer the anxious looking man in front of me. ‘How could you forget about that..’ I admonish myself as I suddenly feel a slight weight pushing against me. I blink a few times realizing that it’s a little inebriated Alex hugging me. “Fank you! Fank you soo much! You save me again!!” he exclaims while struggling to find his balance back on his chair. I help him steady himself, before I look him over once more. He looks totally different with his hair short and his rather sexy clothing, compared to the “grey mouse” image he had before. However as we talk on it gets clearer to me that his personality had not changed at all. As I think about that a stranger closes up on us: “Hey, let me buy you a drink!” he says drunkenly shaking at Alexander. ‘Not with me!’ I get in defence-mode right away but I know that I am no one to forbid it. Just because I like Alex doesn’t mean that I have any right to get involved. “Fanks mate, but ’m good. And ’m in company, so if ya don’t mind?” he softly answer with an unexpected deep calm voice. “With tha’ twat there?” the stranger askes in disbelieve before staggering away. ‘Maybe he did change a little.’ I’m just relieved the drunk bloke didn’t cause a scene. It was not too long ago, that I had a few gigs in this pubs, when I was still a ‘no-one’. Just as “the Beatles” this club had taken me under its wings, giving me a chance to express myself. And it was also here, that my now manager had “discovered” me. Absorbed in the nostalgia I don’t realize that the other is talking to me until he carefully pulls on my sleeve. “Miles? Maybe can we.. stop by me flat? Joost to get some of me stuff? I don’ dare to go alone..” he asks shyly. “Sure, let’s go.” I answer quickly, before finishing my bear with one big sip and paying the bartender.

*

It’s my first time visiting Alex’ apartment and it makes me realize that I know barely anything about the other man. Yes he owns a bakery, yes he is handsome, totally my type of guy. He is soft and kind. We talked a little, but one day of talking doesn’t make me an expert in “Alexology”. He must have noticed my thoughts since he stops in his act of unlocking the door. “Miles? I’m really sorreh I run you over like tha’, it’s joost..” “No, no.. it’s fine really, roommates sounds fun.” ‘Fucking wanker.. ‘roomates sounds fun, fuck me’ ’ I think embarrassed as I hear the other breathe in rather harshly. I lift my head to see what caused him to. His flat is a mess. “Fuck!” he breathes out as we both enter. “oh no… nonono” he starts to panic. I quickly react and pull him back behind me, while signalling him to be silent. We don’t know if there is still someone in the apartment, so I gesture him to wait where he is while I search thru the rooms. Luckily there is no one there and so I wave him in. “We should hurry though.” I tell him calmly since I don’t want to worry him any further. However there is a chance that the people who did this could come back. I follow Alex into his bedroom, where I find him sitting on the floor. His face is paler than before and he is shaking: “Alex?” I squad next to him, to see what causes his reaction as a horrifying picture catches my eyes. “What the..” I pick up one of the photos, which are scattered on the floor in front of us. It shows Alex’ naked body, smeared with blood and horror in his eyes. His hair is still long in the pictures. My heart threatens to jump out of my chest as I feel anger rise in it. My hand holding the photograph starts to shake. Slowly as my fingers form into a fist I crumple up the paper. I feel like everything around me turn into a white noise, I start to see red. Suddenly I feel Alex grabbing my arm desperately pulling and shaking it. My anger that had numbed me, just seconds before, evaporates until I am finally able to see the other clear in front of me again. “Al..” I start, cupping his cheek carefully, brushing away a tear falling from his deep dewy eyes. Very cautiously I take him into my arms, shielding his eyes with my shoulder. “It’s ok, everything will be ok.” I try to calm him. I feel guilty that I had given in my anger in front of him. In the end it was him who had suffered on his own body what I just had seen on the photographs. ‘I have to find that bastard..’ my mind is still in rage, however I don’t want to worsen Alex’ feelings and so I hold myself back. Caught up in my thoughts I fail to smell the sudden stinging scent floating in the apartment. I feel a heat in my back which faces the door to the hallway. But since Alex’ body radiates of heat I don’t think anything of it. ‘What is that?’ It suddenly get harder and harder to breath. “Shit JOSH!.... Miles come on! QUICK!” I hear the panicked voice of the young lad ringing in my ears. I’m already light headed to a degree that robs of my ability to react in time. I look up to the other as suddenly my vision is blocked by what I assume is a t-shirt pulled over my head: ‘Josh who? What is going on?!’ I ask myself as I suddenly I sense danger. Abruptly there is a deafening noise, coming from the door behind me. I hear a small wheeze, which gets swallowed by the cracking noise of flames eating their way through the flat. I feel a strong pull on my hand bringing me to stand up in a matter of milliseconds, before I’m dragged through the ‘hell’-fire into the fresh air of the night. “Fuck, my phone I hear the other swear after we had stumbled down the stairs, leading to the parking lot. I finally pulled of the shirt from my head, blinking a few times. It is still hard to focus my vision and I feel nauseas. “He…here” I offer the other my phone, before suddenly being overwhelmed by a strong cough. I figure that he might have seen the intruder, maybe even recognized him, at least I had heard him scream a name just seconds before hell broke loose. It unfolds more and more why he had gone the extra mile, taken all his bravery and asked me to move in with me. Here was no place for him anymore, not if he wanted to stay alive, and I fear that soon the bakeshop won’t be as safe anymore too. Maybe that’s exactly Alex’ thinking process. ‘I need to sit down..’ so I fish for my car keys, to unlock it before I seat myself in the passenger seat. Looking up to Alex who just had hung up after calling 999. “We.. we made it..” he finally exhales, sitting down on the concrete in front of the opened passenger door. I look back at the building where Alex’ flat was located in. It was an old, out of business supermarket which only had his apartment in the second floor. If it hadn’t been for the others incredible presence of mind it would have been too late for us. As the adrenaline of the situation exits my body I fall into a mild unconsciousness, as I already hear the firefighters and police sirens coming our way.

*

‘Finally’ I exclaim as I enter my flat. After getting confirmed a small flue gas poisoning we had been questioned by the police on what had happened and then send home. I was told to take it slow the next few days and received some medication to normalize my blood gas levels. Before I had gone to meet up with Alex I had imagined a few outcomes of the evening. One to be him telling me to never see him again, another where we made up and maybe go on a date –how delusional, I know-. Anyhow, I would have never dreamed of that turn of events. “Are you ok?” I hear Alex timidly asking me while helping me out of my leather jacket. “Sure.. joost wanna lie down though.” I answer groggy turning straight to my bedroom. It doesn’t take me long to fall asleep, being exhausted from what just had happened. However I am awaken by a cold cloth on my forehead and a worried looking Alex in front of me. “Hey..” I blink with a weak smile on my lips. “Fank you. For saving me life, ya know.” I add before coughing. “Shh, it’s ok, don’ talk. Ya should rest more.” ‘What an angel’ I think as his face reflects the light from the early morning sun peeking thru the curtains. I had failed to realize how late it had gotten. “Come ‘ere” I offer him while shifting to the wall side facing side of the bed. “Oh, I can joost sleep on the couch..” he answers, shifting nervously from one foot to the other. “Don’t be silly.” I insist, while pulling on his wrist, to get him down to me. However I underestimate my strength and so from one to the other second I find him lying on top of me, our lips touching while my eyes are perfectly aligned to look into his. We both gulp at the same time before he pushes himself up. “ ‘m sorreh.” Actually I’m not, and if he were still lying on me, he would feel how my heart beat betrays me. “s.. fine..” his cheeks are flushed with a pretty colour of pink before he sits up completely sighing. “Alexander?” I ask for his attention before clearing my throat. He looks at me right away. So fast indeed that I completely forget what I was going to say. His perfect skin, perfect quiff and perfect eyes facing me, his brows slowly turning into a frown. “I fink ya should sleep.” He says before standing up, his cheeks still blushed. ‘Good fucking job..’ I think to myself before closing my eyes again.

*

When I awake a few hours later I find myself starring right into a still sleeping Alex-face. I’m a little bit surprised but it doesn’t take me long to replace that feeling with happiness. I was hoping the other would change his mind. He must have had a shower since his hair is no longer in a quiff and some small grime spots he had on his forehead and cheeks are gone as well. ‘I must smell terrible, I just realize as I breathe in the sweet and slightly floral scent coming from the others warm body. Hypnotized by his beauty I reach over to stroke away a strand of hair, as he suddenly opens his eyes. I feel exposed so I try to quickly remove my hand from the others face. However he catches it, leading it to his mouth before kissing it. I’m seriously confused: ‘Is he still sleeping? Or.. Am I?’ before I can find an answer to this question the other props up, resting on his forearms. “Alex?” I try to inquire “Shhh..” is all he answers before softly pressing his lips onto mine. My eyes widen, I am astonished by the others actions, so much, that I forget to return his kiss, what causes him to stop. “Oh.. I fought.. sorr..” I don’t even want him to finish his words, so I quickly stretch my neck until I can reach his face and finally return his kiss. I don’t even know how long we have been kissing, as my hand develops a live of her own, first traveling up and down the other man’s spine before finding her final destination right on top of his flawlessly tight little arse. He doesn’t stop me, in contraire, I am sure I hear him moan into our still ongoing kiss. The moaning soon gets accompanied by his tongue, tapping on my lips. This time I am sure to answer his request right away and part my lips, just to greet his tongue with my own. My hand starts to massage his behind more and more, causing his moans to grow stronger and louder. I feel animated and a strength I didn’t see myself having just a few hours ago. I get confident and so I take a chance and flip the lightweight around to now be on top. In the action however our kiss breaks and so we stare at each other for a few seconds. As I am about to go down to continue where we had left off I suddenly feel his palm on my chest, his eyes all of a sudden filled with doubt and his body starts to shiver as if we are in -20degree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so much more ideas to write into the story and just hope all the drama isn't going to boom the plot XD;;
> 
> Also, I just want to thank you guys again! For all the comments and Kudo's so far! You are a great motivator!!  
> Since this is only my second FF I ever wrote in my live I am still a rookie in this! Also connected to this is that I never experienced this kind of support ( and what a great and kind support it is!) SO thank you guys from the bottom of my heart! ^^
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will tune in for the next one~
> 
> P.s: As I said before please feel free to leave any criticism, ideas or tipps in the comments, they are a great help for me to improve~ ^^


	7. Joining the Dots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter isn't to dull ㅠㅜ I just think that drama in every single chapter would be too much and I also want to focus a little bit more on Miles and Alex' relationship. I want to built it a little ^^  
> I also hope you guys are not getting to frustrated about me not punishing Joshua yet ^^ Don't worry we will get to it in time ^^
> 
> Please enjoy ^^

I’m awoken by the smell of hot coffee and fried sausages. It is a lovely smell to wake up to. I right away start to feel all cosy and fluffy inside and out. ‘Am I dreaming?’ as I slowly open my eyes it takes me a short while to orientate myself. However after looking around shortly I recognize Miles’ bedroom. I was already so used to wake up in the bakery that was confused for a moment. I turn around, but don’t see Miles lying next to me. As I let my hand glide over Miles side of the bed I feel that it’s still slightly warm which makes me guess that he just had stood up himself. I admit warmth tempts me to cuddle up on his side, just to feel the rest of what he had left behind. I catch a quick glimpse at the door and as I see that it’s closed I move over to his side to curl up there. It’s fascinating how intense his scent is here. I can’t help myself but press my face into the pillow and take a deep breathe “Haaaa” I exhale dreamy. After I realize just how weird that would have been, if the other had just walked in in that moment, I feel my cheeks heat up and my heart skipping a beat.

However his pillow makes me remember what had happened the night – or early morning – before.  ‘Shit!!’ reality catches up too fast. I remember how I pushed him away, how confused he looked at me, and how he understood and accepted my wish to just sleep anyways. I get the feeling that I should clear things up and tell him what had happened and maybe even confess my feelings for him. I mean in the end he already knows about me being stalked, but rape, rape is a whole other league. It’s not like a normal topic to bring up while having dinner or any other time for that matter. Also I admit I am afraid: ‘If he finds out.. he will not want to have anything to do with me anymore.. I’m a dirty little slag, just as Joshua said. Joshua made me..’ suddenly my body starts to shake. ‘No! Don’t go there now, He will find out, if he finds me that way…’ I remember myself before shaking my head. ‘Seeing him will help. He always gives me strength!’ that decision made I finally lift myself out of bed and stalk over to the kitchen where I find Miles standing in front of the stove.

He is wearing a simple, slightly see through white shirt, which hangs loose on his shoulders. For bottoms he just wears boxer shorts. ‘Wow’ why does he always has to look so handsome, even in a simple outfit like this. Here I am trying extra hard, every morning, spending at least an hour in the bathroom to get my quiff up perfectly, choosing my clothes carefully and then there he is, looking perfect straight out of bed. I get caught up in my thoughts so much that I don’t even hear the music playing in the background. Anyhow as Miles suddenly starts singing along with the song, I wake up from my thoughts and look up to find him standing right in front of me, singing: “ ’ere is me sun~ (instead of “here comes the sun”)” into my face his dialect giving the line an extra scent of sweetness and innocence. I don’t miss how crisp his voice sounds, it’s a little worrisome for me. His throat must have gotten quite a beating last night in the fire.

I blink a few times confused, before I can’t help it and let the smile formed by the butterflies in my stomach out. “M..mornin’ ” I accompany my greetings with a little giggle that I couldn’t suppress any longer. “Did ya sleep well lil sunshine?” he asks grinning while dancing back to the stove to watch over the eggs he had just broke into the pan before he had come over to me. “It’s a lil late for breakfast, or evn brunch, but I thought we could ‘ave a small snack before headin’ out.” I’m not sure if he is talking to me since he keeps his glance on the sizzling food in front of him, but well, no one else is here that he could talk to.

After he is done preparing the breakfast we sit down at his kitchen table. I don’t realize such how long I am starring at my plate until I hear his amused voice. “Ye eyes sure look hungry bu’ lemme take the wild assumption tha’ ye stomach wouldn’t mind a snack either.” he giggles as my cheeks heat up again. To make things ‘worse’ my stomach confirms his assumption with a loud growl. “Was joost ‘bout to start.” I lie with a frown, as I take my fork and stuff a piece of sausage right into my mouth without waiting for it to cool down a little. “HAaaaaa!!” I gasp after I burned my tongue on the hot piece meat. “Ouw.. Sorreh I should ‘ave stopped ya.” Miles pities me. He jumps up from his chair, hurrying to the fridge to fix me a fresh glass of cold water. “ ‘ere.” I quickly take the water to cool my tongue. ‘And again I am making a fool of myself again. Why am I always like this when I’m around him..?’ I wouldn’t mind to be such an idiot around anyone else, but in front of Miles I just want to be attractive, maybe a little cool. Who wants to be with such a clodhopper anyways? “Did it hurt a lot?” I hear him asking me, I hadn’t even realized that he was still standing there. “Y..yeah ‘m fine.” I lie again, it still burns quiet a lot to be honest. “Too bad” I am surprised by his words, they don’t really match with his worried glace, with which he is facing me. “ ‘xcuse me?’ baffled I look up to him. “Well..” he starts, but cuts himself right off. “No, nothin’. ‘ope ya ok.” He mumbles before moving back to his chair. I might be naïve but ‘Was he about to kiss me?’ I just got that feeling as I was looking into his eyes moments before. Now he once again avoids my glance by looking at his plate while eating. Maybe it’s still because of last night, maybe, he is afraid I don’t like him THAT way. Does he like me THAT way?

*

‘ “Headin’ out”, that’s what he said.’ I think as I step out of the “rain-shower” shower, fishing for a towel. After drying my body I realize, that I don’t have anything to wear. The only clothing I have are the once I wore for days now, and which are still smelly from the fire last night. I wrap myself into the big towel and peek my head out of the bathroom door. I am very cautious however since the marks that Joshua had left on my chest are still quite visible. Maybe it’s just because I know where they are/were or it’s maybe just in my head, but I don’t want to take a risk for Miles to see them.

“MILES?” I call for the others attention. It doesn’t take long for him to show up, he himself already ready to leave, well dressed as always. “Sorreh, could I borrow some clothes from ya? I… I don’t fink there’s much left of mine..”. I didn’t have a chance to save any of my stuff I just realize, but try to ignore the inner angst that suddenly boils up inside of me yet again. If I hadn’t looked up just in the right moment and had missed Joshua standing in the door with the fire accelerant, I’m not sure we would have made it out there alive.

Of course Miles gives me some of his clothes which surprisingly all fits pretty well. And I have to say his taste of fashion is outstanding, unique and versatile. The outfit he offers me for the day seems perfectly adjusted to my style. It’s of a simple white and black ringer shirt, a tight pair of black jeans. He even gives me one pair of his underwear, I am a little embarrassed at first, but accept it thankfully ‘So soft!’. All this makes me realize yet again how different the worlds we live in are. He’s successful, handsome and has money. And me? Well I have my bakery and since last night that’s pretty much all I have.

“Are ya listenin’ Alexander?” I quickly turn around to open bathroom door again. “Yes? Sorreh no, wha’?” I ask and think that I should get my ears checked since I pretty often just don’t hear when others are talking to me. But maybe that’s just me being the daydreamer I am. “I said we should go shoppin’, ya need clothes, no?” the other repeats. “Ehm.. well I.. maybe.” I don’t want to admit to him that I actually can’t afford anything right now. The bakery is running well, although I had been late to open lately. Still I had no money to waste, especially not since the fire, which reminds me that I now also don’t have a phone anymore.

*

Miles refuses to tell me where we are heading to. I’ve never seen the area of Liverpool we are in right now. Well, since I moved here I didn’t really had the money or time to look around. I had been lucky enough to inherit some money from my aunt which had just passed away so I was able to move to the “Beatles City”. I love my hometown, however since people had found out about my sexual orientation my family had a hard time and there was no way to have any success with my bakery over there.

It takes as much as the car to stop to yet again drag me out of my thoughts. We are in an underground car park. I must have questions marks sticking on my face, since Miles giggles amused before exiting the car, walking around it and opening my door. “Joost follow me.” he demands while waiting for me to get out of the car.

My eyes widen as we enter the “shopping mall” if you even can call it that. There is one designer store next to the other. All look pretty empty, the only customer I see are having sales assistants stuck on their arses. “Wow” is all I can fabricate with astonishment. I don’t get much time to look around however as I already feel Miles arm over my shoulders dragging me to a store that proudly presents it’s “Yves Saint Laurent” sign above the generous entrance. “Bu..but Miles I don’ fink I ca..” he cuts me off right there: “Shh, don’t ya worreh I got ya.” That’s all he says, before friendly greeting the shop assistant he seems to already know by his first name.

*

I didn’t think we spend as much time in there as we actually did. It is already deep night as we leave the car park and are greeted by the fresh cool air of the darkness. I am still in shock of just how much Miles had picked out for me. I myself had been too shy to ask for anything. However it doesn’t take a second glance at Miles to guess that he is a man of excellent taste, though in the beginning all I saw him in were his beloved tracksuits. And now I can call myself the ‘proud’ owner of a sky-blue one as well. “Alex? Are ya hungry? We spend more time in there than I thought.” I am hungry very much so and so we decide to take a small detour. However this time I insist on treating the older man next to me. I can’t just live out of others, that never was my style.

However I can’t treat him to a high class diner, so ‘McDonalds’ it is. It’s not much, but Miles claims, that it’s the perfect end of the day. “Fank you” I look into his eyes, which is not easy considering the guilt I feel of him buying half the stores collection for me. “I will pay ya back as soon as I can!” ‘I don’t think I will ever finish paying that off’.

“Alex, stop it! This is a present, my present for you. Can’t you just accept it?” I don’t know if it’s just me, but I hear a small tone of disappointment in his voice. “I thought you’ld be ‘appy.” He continues and proofs my ears right. “Sorreh.. it’s joost.. I am not used to being pampered like this, tha’s all.” I answering after lowering my glace to the burger in my hand. “I think you should start to get used to it.” He exclaims next. “I fancy ye companionship and I want ya to be safe and comfortable wherever ya go. If all it takes is some clothes, tha’s the least I can provide for ya.” he explains further before winking at me. ‘Did he just wink at me?’ my head almost starts spinning. ‘He is flirting with me.’ it’s the first time that I realize this that actively. ‘What am I supposed to do? Flirt back? But how?’ I am not good in this kind of stuff, never really was interested in anybody. And I doubt anybody in me for the matter of fact.

“I see we have to work on tha’.” Miles giggles while stuffing his mouth with the last few chips. “Let’s go.” he says further while standing up. He walks over to me waving his hand in front of my face. I take it slightly confused by his sudden change of heart. He seems so open hearted outspoken now. I like it though, he being so confident makes it almost feel normal for me. I mean at this point I am pretty sure he is gay too. He wouldn’t have kissed me the way he did if he wasn’t. It doesn’t mean that he wants to be with me though, like relationship wise, maybe he just wants to get off with me. Maybe that’s the price for all that.

The whole way home my heart beats wildly. I am very thankful to Miles, I owe him a lot. But I am not ready to take things further with him, on the other hand I don’t think I have much of a choice. He is doing so much for me, buying stuff, taking care of me giving me, giving me a roof over my head. He saved me so many times I believe I can’t recall all of them.

Stuck in my own head I just follow Miles quietly before he places himself on the bed, signalising me that he wants me to sit next to him. I do as he asks and look at him questioning with my glance what will happen next. I am very nervous, I can’t do this, and I don’t think I want or I am ready for it. As I stress myself out I suddenly feel his hand softly touching my shoulder, which drags my eyes to meet his.

“Alex. We need to talk.”

‘Shit.. “You can’t live here.”, “If you want to thank, me sleep with me”? Which one will it be?’ I paint different scenarios in my head, but I learn that I am completely wrong with all of them.

“Look, ‘m sorreh, but after ya fell asleep last night, I cleaned up some stuff an’..” he fishes for something in his left trouser pocket. “..I found this, I must have taken it before you saved me from the fire.” I hear how his voice runs thin, before he clears his throat, obviously not completely pain free. “I ‘ave to be honest, and I thought all day about how I can talk wif ya about it.” as he finishes his sentence he holds up a very wrinkled photograph. It’s one of the once that had lied on my bedroom floor. It shows me, naked, scared and hurt. I have to look away in order to contain myself and suppress a gag. “Throw that away, please.” I hear myself respond, almost in a whisper, to the now silent man next to me. “I don’t ever want to see tha’ again, please.” I’m almost bagging by this time.

Thankfully Miles obeys my wish and puts the picture back into his pocket. At least it’s out of my sight there.

“Alex listen to me!” he demands. “I don’t know who did this to ya, and I understand if ya don’t want to talk about it, bu’ we can’t joost ignore it. This man does not deserve freedom or normality! Please, let me help ya!” I feel the other man’s eyes continuously lying on me, even though I am avoiding them. I honestly don’t know what to say or do. I want Josh to be locked up too, but I am also afraid of what happens if we fail. I don’t think he knows where Miles lives, I feel save here, and I just want to forget everything that happened. “I.. I don’t know. I can’t I.. we…” “Please think about it. I just want ya to know, that whatever happened and whatever happens in the future I am always ‘ere for ya. From now on I always will be by ye side, that is, if ya want me too.” he pauses to take a deep –slightly shaky- breath and clears his throat once more. He seems nervous, while taking my chin in his hand leading my head so we face each other “I really like you. As a man.”. Now I just can’t avoid his eyes anymore, mine widening as I look into his deeply, our face magically move closer to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO~ I hope you enjoy this rather mild chapter with the tiny twist in the end ^^
> 
> I want to to shout out a 'Thank you' to "Anonymous", which gave me great productive criticism after the last chapter ^^  
> I hope it's easier to read for you guys now ^^
> 
> Hope to read you in the comments and have a great weekend guys~ <3
> 
> P.s.: I just made a second insta (like aside from my personal one) for like pics of how I imagine the charas in the ff('s), or just some smalltalk with you guys, to share pics or just whatever ^^  
> >Little "funfact" I actually don't know anybody, who is listening to the monkeys or tlsp, which is sad, isn't it? (well my hubby is kinda forced to listen to them with me in the car XD He is even starting to sing along :3)   
> Anyways that's the reason for me to open the Insta ^^ So if you are interested please look up " arctic505_ao3 "(will follow back if you let me know you come from here <3 ) 


	8. I want it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween ^_^  
> So there it is, even after an hour long struggle I finished this chapter in one sitting.  
> However I was surprised myself how it turned out and that it just so happened that it became what it is -the last chapter ㅠㅜ  
> I understand that this might be a little sudden, but I don't want to artificially stretch out the chapter, it wouldn't do it any good I guess.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and don't worry, I've already good 2-3 new plots in the back of my mind for other stories to come ^^ <3

“Miles..” the other whispers just as our lips are about to collide. However it seems to trigger something inside of me and so I pull away in the last second. As I had closed my eyes for the kiss, the image of the photograph, now resting in my pocket, had flickered in front of my inner eye. ‘I can’t ignore that.’ I decide it would be best if we make sure, whoever was haunting Alex, would get locked up first before we even start thinking about moving on. The younger man had not responded to my confession yet, even I am sure that there has to be something, or he wouldn’t let me even get this close, not after what he must have been thru. I clear my throat once more, before building up the courage to look at the others face again. “ ‘m sorreh.. I think it’d be better if..” before I can finish my sentence however I get cut off: “Oh, I get it.” Alex’ eyes start to tear up as he shouts out his accusations: “ ‘am dirteh, used, damaged.. whatever ya wanna call it. ’m not good enouf for ya anymore.” He yells in my face before launching up from the bed, running out of the room -and as I can hear not a second later- out of the apartment. “SHIT!” I hear myself cursing, right away running after him.

I have to admit, I didn’t expect such an outburst of energy and rage from the usually so very gentle creature. Also, he is faster than I anticipated. Even I can’t see him anymore, after leaving the building, I have an idea where he might have run to. ‘It’s worth a shot.’ Last time it had taken me way too long to find him. I won’t do the same mistake twice.

‘Please be there, please be there.’ I pray while jogging my way to the bakery. And really, as soon as I arrive there, I can see a small light shining from the back of the baking shop, indicating someone must be there. I don’t want to scare him, or give him the feeling of being cornered and so I knock. Not on the backdoor, but on the glass front door, so he can see who it is. ‘I got to be more sensitive next time.’ my opinion hadn’t changed. We first have to find the bastard that had hurt –my- Alex, that priority number one. But also on the way over to his business I realize how it must have felt for him, when I suddenly took distance from him after showing him the photo. I had sent very mixed signals to him and can now totally understand his confusion. My mind is running a marathon, while I wait for the other man to respond to my knocking. I have to think of a good way to approach him, to show him, that in fact I do like him and want to be with him. That I don’t think he is disgusting or anything of that sort.

As I am about to knock again I suddenly see a slender figure appear from the back. I can’t quite see who it is. All I can see is a shadow, as it closes up to me I can realize, that it really is Alex who slowly walks up to the door. His steps are unsure and so is his face, which -while he moderately closes up to the glass- gets illuminated by the street lights. Just as he is about to unlock the door he looks up to me and freezes completely in his movement. He abruptly stand back up and walks backwards. “Alex? What are ya doin’? Please open the door!” I loudly plead to him, but stop after I suddenly see a reflexion in the door, standing behind me. ‘What the hell?’ I think to myself while slowly but surely turning around.

“Long time no see, Kane.” Now it’s me who freezes, as I hear a deep and somehow incredibly dark –heavy feeling- voice addressing me, before I’m even turned around fully. I don’t recognize the voice at first and so I face the other man. ‘The guy from the radio station?’ I’m confused. ‘What is he doing here, what does he want from me, or is he after Alex?’ As I study his face a little further I realize that I not only know him from broadcast, ‘Come on brain, think!’ I urge myself before I finally remember.

I hadn’t paid attention to him back then, but I am almost certain that it’s the guy who hung around the bakery whenever I went there. “Who r ya?” even though I recognize him I feel like I need to know his name.

“Really??! Oh Kane, you are hurting my feelings!” the other speaks before letting out a loud sigh “I’m Joshua Homme.” He then answers my question, taking a step forward to me. He has an intimidating body structure, which is highlighted by the way he acts. “Joshua Homme?” I repeat, more for myself than for him. And suddenly another memory comes back to me, it’s from just the day before, when Alex had saved ‘my-sorry-arse’ from the fire in his house. He had yelled ‘Josh’ just before hell broke loose. “Y… y’ set his home on fire.” I realize loud enough for him to hear. “That’s all you associate me with? I guess you are dumber than I thought.” I feel my hand slowly feel for my phone in my skin tight leather pants. He had just admitted that it really was him, who burned down Alex’ home. I don’t dare to paint a mental picture of what he is capable of doing, if he just burns someone’s home down like that.

“What do ya want from Alex?” since we are in front of the young Sheffielder’s Bake Shop I assume he came for the young man. However I am proven wrong by his next words: “You really have no idea who I am.” the giant before me seems surprised as he realizes that. “Should I?” I hear myself counter, as his eyes darkens.

“You son of a bitch!” he insults me way to calm and silent. “You took everything from me and now you want to tell me that you can’t even concoct who I am?” his voice grows almost to a growl as the sentence proceeds. I’m startled by it ‘What is he talking about?’ My confusion must be written all over my face. “Whatever, you won’t see tomorrow anyways, so why not enlighten you.” it seems that, without trying, I managed to buy myself some time to figure how to deal with the tall man in front of me.

* * *

 

Back in 2007:

It’s the harsh spring of 2007 when I first get the chance to play my own music in a pub called “The Cavern Club”. It is my favourite and such a huge deal for me to perform on the same stage “The Beatles” had so many years before me. Just the other week I had seen a guy, -which I didn’t know who he was- playing up there. After his performance I even saw him talk with a talent scout. It had given me the bravery to go and ask the manager of the pub if I could play sometime and that’s how I got the spot today. I am super nervous, not knowing if I am any good, if people would enjoy my tunes. No risk no fun -Right?!.

Finally 8PM comes and so it’s my turn to entertain the customers of the bar. ‘You can do it!’ I cheer myself on one last time before entering the stage from behind the curtain. After leaning myself on the high bar stool, that was set in the centre of the stage, I look around the audience while picking up my guitar. To my surprise I see the same guy that had played the other week and also the scout, however not on the same table. It is pretty easy to spot scouts around here, they don’t really hide –why should they-. Usually they are sitting alone, ordering exclusively alcohol free soft drinks and are always accompanied by a small notepad to right down whatever they find interesting or summat. And even though it horrifies me to play in front of a guy that could change my future, it also gives me enthusiasm to put in some extra effort today.

After just 30 minutes my performance is done. I bow one last time, before I quickly move “backstage” again. I’m just about to put my guitar back into its case, as I am approached from behind.

“Kane. There is a gentleman who wants to talk to you.” I admit I’m a little stunned. Thanks to the adrenaline still rushing thru my veins however I manage to pull myself together fast, before leaving with the manager. “H..’ello.. Sir.” I address the talent scout I had spotted earlier, awkwardly while holding out my hand to him. “Ah! Mr. Kane, is it? Great show tonight!” he flatters me. “Well… thank ya?” I am not very sure of myself, since I had noticed a few mistakes I made while playing, that simply happened out of nervousness. I am lucky I didn’t piss myself up there. After a stiff minute of silence the man in suit thankfully starts talking again: “I really enjoyed it and would like to hear more! Here is my card. I would like to invite you to our studio.” he speaks with such confidence I have rarely seen anyone having until this point in my live.

Little do I know that he himself is a “newby” in the business and finding a new talent is his first big task, after being the “coffee boy” for the past 6 months. I will learn about this just after the recording of my first test-tape.

I immediately get picked up from the producer present in the studio, who by his words ‘finally has a “talent” in front of him’. I don’t really know what else they are talking about since I am just astonished on everything that is suddenly happening around me.

I don’t even have to wait another week before I receive a call from the scout –which is called Zach as I found out at the occasion of the recording-. He sounds super excited and tells me to come by as soon as I can, since the “big boss” –as he calls him- wants to talk to me. So I agree to come by the same day.

*

Since that day I was only able to play one more time in the pub, before I was overflown with promotional appointments and events. That also was the last time that I saw the other guy who had talked to Zach before. He looked awfully pissed that night. Zach later told me that he had invited him as well, but that he hadn’t been picked up. Apparently his girlfriend had broken up with him just a few days after, that’s what the pubs manager told me further, as he congratulated me on my success. After learning all this I didn’t dare to talk to him, I didn’t want to rub it in his face.  


Never would I have expected to meet that guy years later, in a small bakery around the corner. Him, still being bitter, stalking and raping the first man I ever had truly fallen in love with. To set his house on fire and now standing in front of me.

* * *

 

“I wanted to marry her! But suddenly she only had eyes for you. Miles fucking Kane here, Miles fucking Kane there.” I hear the rage in his voice, stepping back just a little. After hearing his story I remember everything clearly. I find myself almost feeling sorry for him. That however only lasts a second, until Alex, who is still standing a few steps from the glass door, comes back to my mind. “So, what do ya want from him? Why him? Wha’ did he do to ya?” a sudden anger boils up inside my heart, as I once again get a flashback of the photograph in my pocket. All he responds with is a smile, before disgustingly looking into the direction of my little muse. “After you finally had returned to Liverpool it didn’t take me long to find you. You are like a rainbow-poodle in a grey puddle. I followed you here and I’ve got to say you do have good taste. He was delicious, such a little tease, trying to snatch from me. His skin is so soft and he was so tight!” his voice sickens me. I can’t listen to him any longer, I don’t want to. I feel despaired to shut him up and unleash my fury.

*

When I open my eyes all I see is a worried face of a very handsome young man. I blink a few times before the face finally clears up and I see Alex leaning over me. His eyes are slightly red –I assume from crying or lag of sleep-. I can’t bare seeing him sad and so I offer him a weak smile before I try to sit up. “No! Please, joost stay down.” he pleads to me softly, while carefully pushing me down by my shoulder. Until that moment I thought that I was dreaming. As I look around however I realize that we are in a hospital room. I don’t even know how long I have been out, all I know is, that it’s bright day outside. Looking down on me I find my arm in a cast. Suddenly everything starts to hurt. I wince from the sudden sensation electrifying thru my whole body.

“Wha’ ‘appened?” I ask the young man next to me, who just had taken my hand into his. “Wha’ about that cunt?!” yet again I feel the rage boiling in my blood, which this time just gives me a headache.

“Oh, ya got him good!” Alex smiles. It’s a smile I haven’t seen in a very long time from him. It feels warm and carefree. Just now I realize how much I had missed this smile, how much I missed the sunshine radiating from the man next to me. “I was about to open the door for ya, as I saw Josh walkin’ up to ya. I was terrified. ’m so sorreh I didn’t let ya in..” the guilt in his voice is obvious, but luckily of a short nature as he continues: “I couldn’t really hear what ya were talkin’ ‘bout, bu’ at some point ya suddenly punched him right into his scummy face!” it’s cute how excited Alex gets telling the story. “What ‘appened next? How did I end up ‘ere?” I inquire him to continue.

“Well, he hit ya back of course, and he landed pretty hard too.” the other explains, while reaching over, to reveal my bruised torso for me to see. “But ya held up very well! Really!! Anyways, when you guys started punching the shit out of each other I called the police over the bakery’s landline and they came just in time to witness enouf to arrest tha’ bastard.” suddenly it seems like Alex gets nervous.

“What’s wrong, love?” I ask worried, considering his change of mood. “No.. it’s nowt. Joost.. Ya r me hero Mi!” it’s the first time anyone ever called me that and I take an instant liking in the nickname. “If ya wouldn’t have come after me, heaven knows wha’ he would ‘ave done to me! I was so stupid. I’m sorreh!!” it takes me a second to remember what he is talking about. “Oh no, no no no! I was a complete idiot! I was so insensitive! ‘m the one who is sorreh.”

We look at each other for a moment before Alex stands up from his seat without saying another word. He walks up to the door and almost has me fear, that he remembers why exactly he had run away from me and wants to leave yet again. I wouldn’t be able to go after him, which terrifies me. “Al.. Wai..” before I finish my call for the other I hear a clicking noise. After that it’s silent and I am not sure if it was the door closing behind him, or if he is still there. I only suffer the agony of incertitude, since it doesn’t take the other long to reappear from around the corner of the small corridor. I feel myself breathe out in relief, as I see him smile widely at me, before he stands back next to my bed, slowly leaning down to me.  
I was never happier to have at least one working hand as I put it in his nape, closing the last gap between us. His lips are just as I remembered them, plum and softer than the finest cashmere.

Not a second later we are in a deep kiss forget everything that happened, letting go of all the hard feelings entering a completely new world. Or so I thought.

“Miles? Mi??” I suddenly hear the younger mans voice. ‘How is he speaking so clear while kissing?’ it’s a dumb thought, I realise as I open my eyes seeing a yet again worried looking Alex in front of me. “What? We joost.. we.. huh?” I mumble confused as the other giggles amused. “I guess ya must ‘ave fallen asleep while I got ye some water. ‘Wait what? Did I dream that? Shit..’ I think embarrassed catching myself being disappointed. It’s not only me who is let down by this outcome. It’s no surprise to me to feel how hard I got from the dream. I only hope the other wouldn’t notice.

“Seems like ya had an excitin’ dream, wha’ did ya dream about?” ‘As if he doesn’t know..’ ashamed of being caught red handed I turn my head away. “ ’m joost kiddin’.” the other still giggles. “Hey come on, ‘m sorreh.” I can’t stay embarrassed long hearing the joy in the others voice. “Well.. if ya r realleh interested.” I start as I turn my head back to him “I could show ya exactly wha’ I dreamed about.” I smirk as I grab the others wrist pulling him down with one strong tug.

My dream comes true in that moment and my heart threatens to jump out of my chest. “I love you.” I exhale as we separate to catch a breath. “And I love you” the other answers while licking his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it~ Puuuh  
> I really never thought it would become that long.. o.o
> 
> Thank you very much, all of you, for your support and loyalty ready this FF!  
> I hope to meet you again in the next one!
> 
> Ps: As mentioned in the end notes of the last chapter, I made a Insta, which i want to try to post pics, music samples and updates for my FF's, as well as talk with you guys ^_^ So if you have Insta, and you want to : arctic505_ao3 is the user ID ^^

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always feeling sorry seeing Josh made to be the bad guy, but he just has something that makes it easy to write him in that kind of role >_< Sorry to the Homme-Fans out there. Please don't hate me XD
> 
> Anyways, I hope you liked this Chapter and if you did I would be happy to see you back when I release the 2nd one ;)
> 
> Have a lovely Day or Night!
> 
> Ps: I am always open for constructive critics of all sorts, that's the only way I can improve, so don't hesitate and let me know what you think about this FF ^^ I'm looking forward to read your Comments! <3


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